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Title: Fight or Flight
Author: Anita
E-mail: Boilerella@aol.com
Category: S/O, M/O, Mulder/Skinner friendship, Scully/Skinner friendship, MSR
Rating: Pg-13
Summary: Sometimes the Truth Hurts.
Spoilers: Everything up until after the funeral in DeadAlive. After that, it's all me and my far fetched ideas.
Disclaimer: I do not own them. I'm not making any money from this. The story's not good enough. If you do take any money off me, then I can't buy your DVD box sets. So you'll be the ultimate losers. Kristen, Jimmy, Ross, Sarah and any other characters however, belong to me. I admit, I may have 'borrowed' a few scenes from films etc. I do not own these scenes blah blah blah but I believed that they fitted within the context of the chapter. So there! :P I also used transcripts of a few episodes, Sein Und Zeit comes to mind. I do not own this either. I don't actually own an awful lot...... :(
Archiving: Yes to gossamer and to Ephemeral. Anywhere else please ask so as I can keep track of where it's going. Thanks!
Authors Note And Thank you's: Thanks to Kristen for sort of co-authoring this crappy piece of work and making it bearable to read. And standing by me when I feel I worthless (you know what I mean), to Heather for being my friend, to all the people who have been reading :-) you guys know who you are! Sorry for breaking it of like that! And I think hugs and kisses are needed all around! <Mwah> and a ((hug)) Enjoy....
Fight or Flight 1/?Prologue.
19-11-2001
Skinner still couldn't believe what she'd told him. She was leaving, leaving Washington, leaving the X-files, leaving the bureau. The box on the table was filled with all sorts of novelty items that she and Mulder had collected over the years. He could help but feel somewhere in his gut that this was a mistake, but was it a mistake for her to go or a mistake for him not to try harder to stop her?
"Are you sure you have to go away?" he asked, hoping that maybe if he asked her again, he'd get a different answer. He wanted her to be here, where he could watch out for her. It was the only way he could repay Mulder.
"Yes. I have to get away from this. This whole room is him. His name on the door. His posters. His photos. All him. I'm surrounded by him."
Scully took a deep breath, an attempt to regain her composure. As her anguished speech spilled from her mouth, her voice had begun to crack and tears had started to fall. She had to regain her composure quickly, so she did so in her usual manner, the way she'd done so many times with Mulder, they way she'd done it in Montana performing that autopsy. She'd only lost her control once in her superior's presence and she vowed not to do so again.
"What are you going to do about money?" he asked after a moment.
"I have a job offer from St. Stephen's Hospital in Oklahoma. I'll be fine sir. I'm finally going to practice medicine." She gave a small laugh.
"You're so close to your due date, Dana. Only two months away, what about that? What are you going to do for money until you're able to work again?"
"I have some rainy day cash set aside. I'll be fine, Sir. Please, don't worry."
"You be careful. Do you hear me."
"Thank you. I will be."
Skinner closed the small gap between them with two long forward strides, and grasped her shoulders firmly, but gently.
"No! Look at me. Do you promise?"
She lifted her head so that her watery blue gaze met his probing brown one, "Yes. I'll be fine. I have your number, I'll call you. I have to go now or I'll miss my train. I'll call you as soon as I get settled. And thank you, Sir, for everything."
"Take care of yourself. Goodness knows you deserve it," he stately fiercely, fighting a losing battle with his emotions.
Scully didn't say anything else, she just stood on her tiptoes and place a chaste kiss on his cheek, then promptly picked up the box and left the X-files and Mulder's memory behind for good. Or so she thought.
02-05-2004"Hi, Sir, I mean Agent Mulder. Can you check this out for me?" Ross asked his superior.
Mulder looked at his partner of a little over three months and smiled, sometimes this guy was even more hopeless than he'd been in his glory days. Since when had he become the one who did the paperwork? Since Scully disappeared, his track record with partners had resumed itself full force. Three years, eight partners. And now the new one, still green from the academy. He was an annoying, scrawny little thing, but he sure had two things that could make him almost bearable as partner; an open mind and, most importantly, heart.
"Sure, what is it?" Mulder asked.
"It's a file that I should have given in about four weeks ago. Please, Night of the living dead man? Skinner will let you off anything!"
Mulder, while pissed off that he called him that dreaded nickname again, smiled at the comment. It was true, Skinner would let him get away with anything. He'd been fairly easy going with the X-files pair while Scully was working with him, but since he'd came back to work for the bureau, Skinner had been even more lax with him. Sometimes, Mulder thought Skinner's new found blinders were a result of his desire to keep Scully's location from him. Mulder knew deep down that Skinner new where she was, but he'd give up long ago trying to pry it out of him. Nothing ever came out to Skinner's mouth that wasn't supposed to, not even when drinking on Friday night.
"Fine. Fine. Just don't call me that again. EVER. Ok?"
"You got it."
"I'll go now and then go home. See ya tomorrow." Mulder said while walking towards the elevator.
"Bye." Ross responded.
"Sarah, I'm home!"
Mulder surveyed the room. Scanning it with his eyes. Not a lot had changed. Same sofa. Same television. The same coffee table and the same computer. The only things that had changed were the phone and the fish. He had to get rid of the phone. It had her number on it and having discarded the phone's manual many years before, he'd given up trying to erase it and erase her from his mind. The fish, those poor fish, had finally died.
"Hey honey. How was your day?"
Mulder stared at her. God she was beautiful but he couldn't help himself and compare her to... NO he mustn't go there. It would kill him to go there. She had long, wavy blond hair that shined like a waterfall. She had deep green eyes that swallowed you in if you chanced a glance at them. She was tall. About 5ft 10 but it didn't put him off. There was only one short person he could ever love. NO! Here he went again. She ruled his whole life. A psychiatrist would have a field day with his thoughts. He laughed bitterly. He was a psychiatrist.
"Fox?"
He started and realised she was waiting for an answer.
"Oh it was good. Caught a new criminal." He lied.
"That's wonderful!"
"Hey, um. Skinner and I are going out for a drink at Pete's Bar ok?"
Sarah sighed, "Of course it's okay, Fox, you do it every Friday. Just don't let him drink to much, I don't want him to spend the night here again."
"Okay, I promise I'll watch him and I'll try to keep him sober. And if he does get drunk, I won't bring him here, okay."
Sarah really hated Skinner. Absolutely hated him. He reminded her of the days when Mulder had Scully a part of his life that she would rather forget existed. Sometimes when Mulder went out and had too much to drink he would come home and start telling Scully stories, and God forbid if Walter was with him, it would be a regular trip down memory lane, a trip that did not include her. Sometimes, Sarah realised it wasn't really Skinner he hated, but the time in Mulder's life he represented, the connection to Dana Scully, someone who had hurt Mulder deeply. She hated her for that, she hated her for living, but most of all she hated her for holding the heart of the man she loved.
"I better go get ready, you know how Walter hates it when I'm late."
Mulder went to the bedroom and started to change his clothes. He walked over to the closet and slid open the door. While doing so he noticed something on the floor that he hadn't seen before. Mulder leaned down and scooped up the small object into his tight grasp.
Ten minutes later he emerged from the bedroom clad in a black v - neck tee shirt, black jeans and black boots.
"I'd better be off cause I'm already late as it is," said Mulder giving Sarah a kiss before he headed out to his car seemingly distracted.
"I love you". Called Sarah as he walked through the door.
He turned and have her a half salute and slowly sauntered to his car lost in his own thoughts.
Skinner spied Mulder as he came through the door but immediately noticed that something was wrong. He wasn't walking in his usual cocky way. He seemed troubled. Skinner tried to remain tactful and not mention it right away...
"Anything wrong?" Asked Skinner.
"Why would anything be wrong? I'm fine". He signalled to the waiter and ordered a dry Martini for himself and a scotch on the rocks for Skinner.
"I don't know you seemed..." Skinner stared in amazement as Mulder downed the whole glass in one. Know he KNEW something was up.
"What did I seem like?"
"I...." replied Skinner and was then interrupted by Mulder as he rambled on
"Wait I can answer that." As he downed ANOTHER Martini that had appeared from nowhere
"Today, as I bent down to the bottom of my closet. I found this." Mulder reached into his pocket and extracted a small round object. He stared at it for a couple of seconds and then showed it to Skinner.
"It's Scully's Apollo medallion." Murmured Skinner.
"That's right, Oh another one of these please!" Mulder called to the waiter again.
"Maybe you should take it slowly Mulder. You're just getting yourself worked up for no reason."
"I have EVERY reason to get myself worked up. God I hate her!" He spat this confession out with immense anger.
"Mulder I know how you feel but..."
"NO! You DON'T know how it feels to wake up after being DEAD for 6 goddamn months and then find out that your best friend and the woman you love has gone and left you! She didn't have to go! If she had wanted to leave she just had to say. But NOOOO. She does it behind my back!"
"Look Mulder, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying. I'll drive you back. SLEEP on it. You'll feel better in the morning". With that Skinner hauled up his partner in crime, paid the bill and dragged a still mumbling Mulder back to the car. He decided to let MULDER explain what had happened to Sarah in the morning...Skinner did know one thing for sure, one of these days he was going to have to tell Mulder the truth, and it seemed that day was coming much sooner than he wanted it too.
Fight or Flight 2/?"Where is that boy?" thought Dana Scully as she riffled through her mail scanning the names., Will was always running off and hiding somewhere. Then she saw it. A letter from Walter Skinner. She slit the envelope open and read the words, she'd been waiting for this...
Dear Dana.
How are you? Things are fine here. Well, as fine as they can be for a 50 something man with a pet pug. I miss you, Dana. I know I write that in every letter, but it's true. Sure, you don't want to divorce Jimmy and marry me?
Seriously though, I really do miss you and I think I want come out for a few weeks and visit. I want to see Will and I want to see for myself that everything is all right. You haven't written me in a while Dana, I've been concerned.
It seems that even after nearly four years, things don't run the same as they did before you left. Nothing seems to fit right. We still have agents with the most off the wall ideas, but now there is no one to centre them. Listen to me whine and complain, I'm starting to sound like an old man.
I've seen your mother recently and she gave me the new pictures of William. He is getting so big and looks so much like you. How is Jimmy and work? I know that medicine was always something you wanted to do. I'm sometimes just sorry that you had to move half way across the country to do it. I don't know why but recently, I've really missed you Dana, and I've missed William. Maybe it's because things didn't work out with Kate or I'm starting to realize that I'm more than half way finished with my life and I have nothing but a big pay check, a little rat of a dog, and a divorce to show for it. My blood pressure is high by the way, I'm not supposed to eat red meat anymore or drink, like I'll listen.
I have to go, things are really crazy here like always. Call me or write me and let me know what's going on. I was serious about wanting to visit. Give Will a kiss for me and I'll give Rat here one for you. Chin up and I'll see you soon.
Love Walterxxx
Scully sighed. She missed him. His stern glance every time her and Mulder walked into a meeting late. His helpful mannerism when one of them was in a space where they thought that they Couldn't get out of. And most of all she missed the friendship that she had forged while they were looking for Mulder. She quickly diminished that thought as she saw her friend Kristen walking down the road.
"Hey Dana! How's things?"
Kristen Averleigh was a paediatric nurse St. Stephen's. She was considered to be one of the best in her profession. She had taken Scully under her wing at the hospital on her first few days and they'd become fast friends.
Kristen was an attractive woman, not overly beautiful, but still pretty. She was a brunette, with shoulder length hair and piercing blue eyes, petite and thin. There were so many things that she and Kristen talked about. Kristen's husband had been pressuring her to have children, and while she found William wonderful, she wanted to focus on her career a little longer before starting a family. It had been a source of contention between her and her husband Andrew of late.
"About as good as can be expected. I got a letter from Walter today. He wants to come out for a visit soon. How are you?"
"Oh, all right. Andrew isn't talking to me again, he found out about the birth control pills you prescribed for me."
"Did you talk to him? Try and make him understand? You worked hard to get where you are, you deserve to enjoy it a little bit first. Where has that boy gone to now?"
"I'm here, Mommy," the little boy announced coming out of the horse stable, his red hair glinting in the sun.
"William, what did I tell you about running to the stables and not telling me," Dana scolded.
"But I did tell..." he stopped when he saw his Aunt Kristin standing near, "Hi Aunt Kristin. Where's Uncle Andy?"
"He's out with Daddy, they'll be later for dinner. Why don't you go back into the stable and finish playing with the ponies while I talk to mommy?"
William hugged his mother and aunt and went to play with the little horse that he adored.
"Did you tell him yet Dana?" queried Kristin.
"No not yet. I'm waiting for the right time."
"Dana. Time isn't a luxury you have at the moment."
"I know, I know. But...." Scully trailed off seemingly searching for the right words. She sighed.
"How do you tell a three year old boy and a husband you adore that you are..." Scully suddenly stopped as she saw her son come bounding out of the stables.
"Mommy?" Called Will.
"What is it sweetie?" Scully answered him tenderly.
"Can I have a glass of water?" Asked her mischievous little boy.
"What do you say?" reminded Scully. He was always forgetting the 'magic word'.
"PLEASE!" cried Will. "I'm sooooo thirsty!"
"Of course you can." Laughed Scully.
She couldn't help herself but to compare him to Mulder. The similarities were uncanny. He had light red hair with blond and brown streaks and hazel eyes. He had the same mischievous grin and annoying habit of talking himself out of every scrap he got himself into. But she loved him dearly. She'd loved his father as well.
With that the two women followed the little boy up the porch stairs, escaping the dense summer heat into the dark interior of the house.
Dana walked over to the refrigerator and stared into it. Will had wanted something to drink, but what...
Kristin had noticed her friends hesitation and filled a glass up with water. Will drank it gratefully then ran off to play with his pony again.
"You have to tell them Dana. If not William yet, you have to tell Jimmy and your mom, and..."
"No, don't say it. I can't tell Walter, if I do he's going to come her and try to cure me and he can't, not anymore, not this time. He risked it all for me last time I had cancer and then I had a chance. I don't have a chance this time.
You are right about one thing, though. Jimmy he deserves to know."
"I deserve to know what?"
Jimmy was a tall, handsome man, about 6'2" with a slight gut. His hair, still in thick, was a dusty blonde, and his eyes, they were haunting, the same haunting blue that her dad's had been. She loved his eyes.
"Um, nothing, I just received a letter from Walter?"
Jimmy frowned, "What did he have to say?"
He didn't like Walter, he seemed to care too much for her. He wasn't about to have a fifty something man in love with his wife. She was precious to him and no one and no thing would take her from him.
Dana recognized the tone in his voice and proceeded carefully. She knew about her husband's feelings for her former boss and friend, and she didn't want to invite trouble.
"He just, you know, wondered how we all were. My mom gave him so pictures of William."
"Daddy!" Will shouted running into the kitchen dragging a smiling Andrew by the hand.
"Hey, Tiger!" Jimmy picked Will up and swung him around the room. Will squealed in delight.
Andrew slowly stood up to his full height of about 5'11' and rubbed a hand across his sore back.
"Damn he's fast! He's quicker than me!"
"Yeah, and about a hundred pounds lighter too!" joked his wife, slapping his stomach as he sucked it in, a vain attempt to make himself look thinner.
"You never give up do you?" He moaned as Kristin and Dana shared a look woman to woman.
"No to mention 35 years younger," Dana joined in the reverie, her trouble temporarily forgotten. "Never mind. I'll get started on dinner shall I?"
Scully turned to the refridgerator and opened up the double doors. She searched looking for some type of food but there was none.
"Damn. I knew there was something I hadn't done." She mentaly scolded herself for slipping up like that.
"What haven't you done? Gone the the grocary store?" Replied her husband.
"Yeah."
Jimmy shot her a look as if to remind her their conversation was not over, he did not believe a letter from Walter Skinner was all she and Kristin had been talking about. Over the past few weeks he had noticed little things that disturbed him. Things like forgetting to do the house work or her hand twitching. But he had shrugged it off. But now, it was becoming more and more frequent. He decided he had to confront her about it. Tonight he decided, tonight when they were in bed.
Kristin broke the silence. "Hey, Will, how would you like it if we all went down to Smith and Westerns?"
"Yes, please." He egerly shouted. it was a treat if they got to eat out as his mommy frowned on greasy food.
They all headed for the door but Scully grabbed Kristen's arm
"Thanks." She whispered.
"Don't mention it. You would have done the same for me."
Scully smiled and grabbed her coat but while doing so noticed her hand shaking. She sighed. it was another thing to report to the doctors on her appointment on Saturday. No Sunday. Or was it Monday. She couldn't remember. Oh, well, she'd call tomorrow and pretend she lost the card. Again.
Jimmy placed a small kiss on the top of her head then took one her hands in his and followed Kristin, Andrew and Will out the door. Something was not right with his wife and he was determined to find out what it was. Tonight.
Fight or Flight 3/?
Sarah lay in bed and glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table. 2:47 a.m. Fox was over two hours later than he usually was and she missed him. Since they had started living together, she had trouble falling asleep without him beside her, even though she knew he rarely got very much sleep himself.
Perhaps, Walter had gotten drunk again. She'd told him not to bring him here if he did, and she knew Fox, he wouldn't just leave Walter home alone when he was too drunk to function. His caring sensitivity to people was one of the many reasons she loved this man, and one of the many reasons he could not love her completely in return.
Suddenly, she heard a noise at the door. Who would be banging on the door at this hour of night. She quickly pulled a robe around herself and called through the wooden door, "Who's there?"
"It's Walter Skinner."
Skinner. Just Skinner. Oh, God, something happened to Fox. Sarah quickly undid the latch, and was relieved and appalled all at the same time, for there was very sober Walter Skinner, supporting a very drunk and somewhat depressed Fox under the arms.
"Oh God! What happened to him?" Skinner just stared at her.
"I think that it's blatantly obvious!" He answered back and then checked himself. It wasn't right to talk to a lady like that. Even though Krycek was more of a lady than Sarah was. He smiled to himself imagining Krycek in a dress and then quickly removed it as he saw Sarah staring at him like he was mad. Mulder was still mumbling to himself and Skinner prayed that he wouldn't mention Scully's name until he was safely out of the door. Out of reach from that nice little vase perched by Sarah's side.
"I'm sorry, Sarah. He had a few too many drinks. I didn't want him to drive and I knew he'd never make it up here by himself."
"Thank you, Walter," she said, if somewhat coldly, "I'll take it from here."
Mulder wasn't really sure of what was happening. He opened his eyes wider and saw his apartment. He was home, Walter must have brought him. The his eyes fell on a gentle pair of feminine hands that were trying to remove him from Skinner's strong grip. They were beautiful hands, but too large to be Scully's. They were...they were...whose were they? Oh, Sarah, right, his new lover. He slapped at her intruding hands. Those weren't the hands he wanted to hold him, he wanted Scully, needed Scully, loved Scully.
With Skinner's help, Sarah got Mulder settled on the sofa, then she turned to face him, as if waiting for him to leave.
"Are you sure you can handle him like this? I mean, the last time he was this drunk was right after Dana was diagnosed with cancer and she started to undergo treatment."
"I don't want that name said in this appartment."
"You know, Sarah, Dana, was a big part of Fox's life for a long time and it would serve you well to remember that once she meant something to him. Constantly ridiculing her and your completely insane and unfounded hatred and jealousy of her is not helping Fox get over her."
"Well, Walter, he should all ready be over her we've been together long enough, she's been gone long enough. She wasn't there for him after he recovered from...from...whatever it was he said he had."
"Neither were you. I was the one who cared for him in that time, me, not you. The hostility, the hatred, the complete denial of the fact that he had a life before you it's tearing Fox apart inside. He told me as much. Sarah," he said, softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder gently as if to convey his seriousness, she jumped but did not pull away, "Let him tell you about her. Let him talk, let him have closure, he needs that. You'll see if it doesn't make all the difference."
Sarah didn't answer him and he turned to leave, "I'll call you in the morning to see how he is."
"Don't bother. I'll have him call you."
Skinner sighed as he heard the door close behind him. That woman was all wrong for Fox, she was cold, selfish, and had an evil streak that turned his blood cold. However, Fox needed the female companionship, he always craved the feminine touch and as long as there was Scully, he had what he needed. Now, however, he didn't have her and Sarah was his acceptable alternative.
Mulder felt himself be dragged up and tugged to the bedroom. His head was thumping and it felt like he had wildebeest running around his skull.
"Oooh my head hurts." Mulder groaned.
"I'm not surprised!" Snapped Sarah. She was fed up of all of this. This whole shenanigan. Every thing revolved around that women! He still loved her and that dug deep into her heart. He belonged to her. She didn't want to be constantly looking over her shoulder, making sure that he wasn't going to be taken away from her.
"Shhhh." Mulder mumbled. "My head!" He pointed at it just in case she hadn't gotten the message. She was so stupid at times! Damn women!
Sarah pulled him onto the bed and shoved him down so he was laying on his back. She promptly removed his shoes and tugged the cover over his chest.
"When did you start getting so heavy?" Sarah complained.
Mulder only grunted his response. She wasn't going to get anything out of him tonight. That Sarah knew, she never did when he was like this.
He was asleep all ready, snoring softly. She might as well change and get into bed. There was no talking to Fox tonight.
She got into bed and snuggled close to Fox, taking comfort in his warmth. She dozed off into a fitful sleep.
A few hours later Sarah awoke to Fox in a cold sweat, he was thrashing about in the bed in the throes of a nightmare.
"Fox, come on, wake up. It's only a dream, just a dream," she kept her voice soft and stroked his damp brow.
Mulder's arms encircled her and held her tight, "Scully, oh God, I thought, it was about when Duane Barry, oh, God, darling, don't leave me again, please. Please."
Before Sarah could respond, she felt Mulder go lax in her arms a fall asleep. She turned around and let out a sigh. She did not however fall back to sleep, instead, she pulled her knees into her chest and cried.
The Next Morning
Mulder awoke with the worst hangover he'd ever had. It felt like he had a damn drum and bugle core in his head. Something hard hit him on the leg.
"Call Walter and let him know you're alive, Sarah instructed. Boy was she pissed.
"Sarah, honey, listen..."
"Ooh, honey, not darling. That's what you called me last night."
"I'd never call you darling..."
"You'd never call me Dana, either, at least not consciously. Is that what you called her, darling? Is it?"
"Yes," he shouted, ignoring the pain in his head, "All right, yes, I called her darling, and sweetheart, because she was. She was the sweetest person I've ever known. She was the best friend I'd ever know and the best lover."
"Some best friend. She left you Fox. She's gone. She's off somewhere living a life without you in it. She probably never gives you a second though. She does not care about you, she never did. I don't see how anybody could.
"Listen, Fox, you called me Scully, you begged her not to leave you, but she did and I'm here. Let her go, forget about her."
" No! You don't understand! You never could. She meant more to me than anything. More than the search for the truth, hell even more than the search for my sister. You could never understand."
"What couldn't I understand! I hate hearing that! That is all you ever say to me!" Sarah stared at him breathing heavily.
"I'm gonna phone Walter." Mulder pushed past her and headed towards the phone. His feet fell heavily on the wooden floor. He picked up the phone and dialed.
After three rings Skinner picked up.
"Hey Walter." Mulder called.
"How are you feeling?" Answered Skinner kindly.
"How am I feeling? Like shit but that's not the matter."
Skinner started to up his guard. Mulder wanted something. He couldn't quite work out what yet though....
"Listen. I KNOW you know where Scully is. I need to know dammit!" He was aware of Sarah's laser eyes boring into the back of his skull.
"Mulder, i can't..." rambled on Skinner
"WHY NOT!" Shouted Mulder
"Because you're just gonna stir up old memories that shouldn't be stirred..."
"Stop talking about my life like it's a friggin cup of tea! Just tell me where she is." Mulder felt like getting onto his knees and begging though it wouldn't help as he didn't have a television screen on his phone.
Skinner sighed. "She's in Oklahoma. I'm not gonna tell you anymore because you'll ruin both of you lives. Mulder? Mulder?!" He held the phone to his ear and heard the dial tone. Skinner sighed.
"Well, here goes," he thought to him self, and braced himself for what he knew was going to be a "bumpy ride" both for Mulder and himself.
Fight or Flight 4/?
Dana Scully Faulkner and her friend Kristin Averleigh sat side by side in the doctor's office. Going to the doctor was something that Scully usually did alone, but the nagging feeling in her stomach told her that today would not be the best time to do that. Kristen had the day off and her husband had been driving her to distraction, so they had decided after her appointment they would go shopping and make a day of it. Kristen was reading a magazine, a Woman's Day with a feature on marital difficulties. Sometimes, to look at Kristen and Andrew no one would be able to tell that all was not well, but other times, like today, Dana could see the shadows in her friends eyes. Those shadows had been in her eyes and she knew what they meant, they meant true disappear and displeasure.
Kristen turned her head over to glance at Dana. She was looked so peaceful doing this, so relaxed like it was all nothing, just some routine she followed everyday. The only indicator that this was not a routine check up was the large notebook in her lap. She knew what was in the notebook, Dana had told her. It was her calendar. A list of days, symptoms, memory lapses, all things to tell her doctor so he could tell her just how soon her life would end. Her cancer could not be treated, they both knew that. Her friend would not see her son grow up, but neither one of them ever talked about that, nor acknowledged it. It would just make it too real.
"Kris, do you want to talk about it?"
Dana's voice shocked her out of her reverie. "No, I'm just tired of being a slave in my own home. Why couldn't I find someone like your Jimmy?"
"Jimmy is no picnic. God forbid you leave the shower running and go make a cup of coffee while the water's heating, he screams bloody murder. He's convinced there's something wrong."
"Isn't there?" Kristen queried.
"This is just a small percentage of cancer this time. Last time it was worse, it was pressing on my brain. I had nosebleeds like you wouldn't believe and headaches, I beat that, I'll beat this."
"You've got to tell him Dana. Things between Andrew and I might now be all summer roses, but if I had cancer, I think I'd tell him, I think he'd want to know."
"I can't tell him. He'd want to tell William and I just can't do that."
"Dana, you have to tell him. He needs to know God forbid something happens to you. And you should probably tell your Mom and that friend of yours from DC."
"The last thing I need to do is tell Walter. He'll drop everything and fly down here and that would be more than I could handle with Jimmy feeling the way he does about him." Dana smiled softly at her friend, knowing she meant well. "Let's see how things go today, then I'll tell him tonight. We'll go to dinner, and maybe, you could watch Will?"
Kristin was about to offer to cook dinner so she could lend her friend moral support while she told her husband, but she never go the chance to make the offer for they heard through the din of the waiting room, "Mrs. Faulkner, Dr. Charles will see you now."
Kristen didn't feel like she was waiting very long in the waiting room when Dana emerged, her calm mask still firmly in place.
"Well, what did he say?" she was anxious.
"He said he want's me to stick around and have an MRI done. I suppose he wants to make sure it hasn't spread."
"Did he tell you what happens if it did spread?"
"No, oncologist and neurologist like to 'play it by ear' and see how the battery of tests that cost thousand turn out before they do that." Scully sighed.
"So, when do you have to take this test?"
"In an hour and it lasts for an hour or so. If you have to go home..." She trailed off.
"Nonsense, I don't have to do anything. I was thinking, why don't you and Jimmy come over to Andrew's and my house tonight. You can talk to him there. Callie Johnson needs more baby-sitting money, leave William with her and we'll have a rational adult talk about your health situation. We can use Andrew to keep Jimmy calm."
Dana smiled at that. Jimmy and calm were words that did not go together in sentence. Dana remembered when she'd first seen him. She'd just moved to Oklahoma and was looking for a quiet, quaint home to live in away from the noise of the city. She found the perfect house in the perfect area and immediately put a bid on it. The day she went to the bank to fill out her mortgage application, she heard and altercation taking place in the bank president's office. To this day she didn't know exactly what it was about and she didn't care to, all she new was that she hadn't seen anyone fly off the handle like that since Mulder.
Mulder. Every time he crossed her mind she got that all to familiar ache in her heart. Mulder was her "One True Thing" but Jimmy was a fine substitute. He embodied all of the qualities she loved about Mulder to some degree. No, he wasn't as intelligent or as kind as Mulder, but he was passionate and he did love her. In a time when she needed to be loved so desperately, he gave her that. He accepted her son as his own and worked very hard at his construction business to give them everything they could want or need. She loved Jimmy, really and truly loved him, but she could never and did not feel for him the feelings she had for Mulder. \she started as she realized that Kristen was still waiting for an answer.
"Dana? I said what do you think?"
"Oh, I think its a great idea. Andy will have his work cut out him. Now, let's get some sandwiches and then I'll have that stupid test. All right?" She squared her shoulders.
Kristen agreed and pulled out her mobile, "I'll jut call Andrew and Callie and let them know."
Once Kristen had finished her phone call she turned to face Scully.
"All done. Callie says she'll be round at your house about sevenish."
"Great. Shall we go to The Canteen then?"
"Sure." Kristen replied.
With that the two women left the waiting room and headed towards The Canteen in search of sustenance.
They quickly found a small table in the corner of the large room.
"Dana? You okay?" Kristen asked as she saw her friend press her fingers against the bridge of her nose.
"Yeah I'm fine." Scully assured her. "Just a headache. That's all."
"Okay. So what do you want. I'm buying." Kristen cheerfully asked her.
"Erm, I'll have the tuna with pasta if that's okay with you."
"You got it." Her friend left the table and walked over to the refrigerator. Paying for her goods, Kristen rejoined Scully.
"Here you go sweetie. One tuna pasta and one sparkling water. That'll get some color in your cheeks." She smiled as did Scully.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. I'm just glad that we're not going to..." Kristen trailed off as she looked towards Scully.
"What?" Dana asked as she saw her friend stare at her.
Kristen pointed at her own upper lip so as not to draw attention.
Scully brushed her upper lip with the side of her hand and studied it. She sighed. It was stained with blood.
"Shit. You wouldn't by any chance have a tissue or something Kris?" Scully whispered.
"Er yeah here." She grabbed a handful from the caddy beside her.
"Thanks." Scully took them gratefully. The last thing she needed was to draw attention to herself. Again. The worst part was when people just stared. She knew that couldn't help it. It was human curiosity. But she still hated it. Really hated it.
"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and clean up. I'll be right back."
With that, Kristen watched her head towards the bathroom. She sighed. Something she had been doing a lot of recently. The nose bleed had shaken her. It was a new development. Okay Dana had mentioned that the first time she had been diagnosed with cancer, she had battled against them. But it was obviously a slip in Dana's health. It frightened her to think that her closest friend was slowly slipping away
Fight or Flight 5/?
Mulder avoided Walter's calls all day Sunday and even debated calling out sick on Monday, but the idea of staying in the apartment with Sarah as pissed as she was wasn't too appealing either. He couldn't believe Walter had known where Scully was all these years and had never told him. He couldn't believe Scully wouldn't come home when she heard he was alive. All of the things he'd held sacred for so long, Skinner's friendship, Scully's love were now wretched away, they were alien to him. It must be true, he couldn't trust anyone. The only friends he could really count on were the Gunmen and they were dead. Actually dead. That hurt like Hell when he found out, but still not as much as the lies Skinner told or Scully's continued absence.
It didn't surprise him in the least that when he arrived at the office Monday morning, his new whippersnapper of a partner, Ross, had a message that Skinner wanted to see him PDQ.
"Did he say what for?" Mulder asked actually praying it was to ream him out over the latest expense report.
"Nope," his partner shook his head, "all he said was as soon as you came in he wanted to see you in his office. Just you." The kid was smirking. The bloody kid was smirking, and Mulder had to fight the urge to kick him. What. Did he think that Mulder was going to get reamed out without him, not bloody likely. Skinner was calling him to his office, but Mulder had a feeling it had nothing to do with work.
Kimberly told him to go in as soon as he got up to Skinner's office, reminiscent of the old days when he and Scully had come back from a case and had either pissed off local law enforcement or way overextended their bureau resources.
Skinner looked horrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and his frown lines around his mouth looked deeper. He must feel horrible about their disagreement with Mulder, for he seldom wore his feelings on his face.
"Sit down, Agent Mulder," he commented using his best AD voice.
Mulder sat down heavily in a chair and waited for the shoe to drop.
"Mulder, I knew the only way you'd speak to me is in an official capacity. I know I've hurt you and betrayed your trust, but I need you to understand why I did it."
"Sir, over this past weekend, I've thought a lot about what happened. I know you probably have your reasons for lying and keeping this truth from me..."
"Trust me, Mulder, I did," he said seriously. "Scully, Dana, she was devastated when you were found dead. She was at a very fragile time in her life. Big changes. Everywhere she looked, in the office, in her home, everywhere. She had to escape. Being here, coming here everyday, it was killing her. She needed to get away. So she left. His voice was soft and cracking.
"Where did she go?" Mulder asked insistently.
"I can't tell you that. You'll ruin both of your lives." Walter said very sadly. "Mulder listen to me. You died. She moved on, plus I don't have her exact location. She gets her mail sent to a P.O. Box and I have a phone number. That's all."
"If you have a P.O. Box..."Mulder began. The AD cut him off.
"I have Kimberly retrieving her precise address as we speak. I have also booked two tickets on the 5:30 flight to Tulsa. If you want to find out more about Scully, you'll have to talk to her in person. She'll never forgive me for not telling her, but she was happy, she had a new life, I couldn't uproot her, not again. I didn't have the heart. We didn't know if you were going to live or die or what condition you'd be in. I couldn't hurt her like that." Skinner's words held a lot of emotion, he was trying to protect Scully. He was trying to protect them both.
"Sir," Kim's voice came over the intercom, "I have a location on Agent Scully. She lives on a farm about 10 miles outside a small town called Rush Springs in Grady County, Oklahoma."
Mulder looked at Skinner and rose from his seat, "I'll meet you at the airport. I have to explain this thing to Sarah.
Mulder drove quickly out of the FBI garage and headed towards his apartment. His mind was stirring with emotions. Emotions that he didn't know existed.
He was finally gonna see her. After nearly 4 years. So what if she moved on. Surely she could make time in her "new life" to see him. He hadn't realized how much he actually missed her till now. Time heals wounds they said. Pah. Whoever quoted that was a prick who knew nothing. But what was he gonna tell Sarah? Oh God....
He parked outside the building with a plan forming in his mind. As he bounded through the door he tripped over something laying in the door frame.
"Did that hurt bastard? Oh it did. It's nice to know that you can feel pain. Well, so can I!" Sarah shouted.
"Honey? What are the bags for?" He tentatively asked fearing the answer.
"I'm leaving. That's it. I've had enough of your constant lies!" She calmed her voice.
"No, Sarah, please let me explain. I want to tell you the truth, but, you see there are so many things that even I don't know. I was sick for a very long time before you and I met. In that time, Scully, she left and I never got to say some things to her that really needed saying. So much of that I've let go, but I have to know why she left. I have to know why she never came back. I have to know what's become of her. I want to go on with my life, I want to go on with my life with you, but I can only do that after I've cleared things up with Scully. Please try and understand and please don't leave."
Sarah looked at his expressive hazel eyes, those eyes were what made her love him. How could she deny him closure in his life when he'd suffered so much pain?
"All right. I'll give you some time, but, Fox, I don't want to wait for you forever," she was resigned.
"You won't have to," he told her kissing her on the forehead. "I'll call you when Walter and I get to Tulsa. I love you" He mouthed
Mulder walked out the door, leaving Sarah standing there watching as he walked away. "I love you too, Fox," she said sadly.
Four hours later, Fox Mulder and Walter Skinner stepped off of flight AA56734 and were embraced by the immense heat of Tulsa, Oklahoma."It's a beautiful place." Mulder mentioned to Skinner feeling out of place in his city style suit. Everyone was wearing Stetsons for Gods sake.
"Very." Skinner replied.
They worked their way out of the airport and tried to hail a taxi which they did relatively easy. The drive to the motel that Kimberly had booked was uneventful, that is if you consider Mulder getting his tie caught up in the electric window mechanism uneventful. Skinner's sides still hurt from laughing too much.
The hotel room was nice. There were two large beds and enough drawers. Skinner unpacked immediately, hanging his pants and neatly folding his shirts and storing his case. Mulder paced nervously back and forth and kept asking his boss like a two year old, "When are we going to see Scully?"
After what seemed like an eternity, Skinner and Mulder left the hotel and went to the post office. Mulder went to the car dealer to see about a vehicle while Skinner flashed his badge inside the post office and asked the lady behind the counter, "Ma'am, can you give me directions to 15 Lamark Road?"
"Ah, Mrs. Faulkner's place. If you turn right at the only stoplight in the town and proceed down the dirt road about ten miles you'll see her barn on the left. Drive up the gravel road towards it and veer right. That's the house. Why she do something that got her in real trouble this time? I knew she couldn't keep leaving her son all over town and not have someone report her."
Skinner's heart jumped. Who on earth was this busybody mumbling about. Scully would never do something like that. He didn't comment, just scowled, turned on his heel and left the store. As he walked back to the car he wondered what the women meant. Scully leaving Will around the town on his own. Something wasn't right. He couldn't put his finger on it though...
Mulder sat patiently in the car thinking about the imminent meeting. How long was it since he last spoke to her. God. Four years. A lot had changed. A hell of a lot. He then saw Skinner walking towards him in the car park.
"Hey. Where is the house?" Mulder asked.
"Just literally down the road and along a few others. About 20 minutes max." He informed Mulder which seemed to settle him. He'd been jumping around not stop. Not that he couldn't blame him but he was more worried about Scully's reaction. There was something that he hadn't warned Mulder about. He hadn't told Scully that Mulder was alive. He had his reasons. But what was she going to do? How was she going to react?
Twenty minutes later the car pulled up outside of 15 Lamark Road and they surveyed the house. It was a large two story farmhouse and the outside was painted white and had a very large porch across the front. Underneath the overhang, there were a few plant pots filled with bright flowers, and a three seater porch swing. To one side of the house, there was a small stable with a horse and one pony. There was also a beaten up red truck covered with dirt. All in all, very calm and peaceful and completely out of the way.
"You ready?" Skinner asked him.
"Yeah. Okay here I go. Wish me luck." With that, Mulder stepped out of the SUV and walked up to the dark porch.
"Good luck." Skinner called quietly.
Mulder felt his heart fluttering. How long had he waited for this moment. Just to see her. Just this once was all that he wanted. He climbed the steps and walked up to the door. All of a sudden, a wave of panic swept over him. What should he say, what should he do? He shook himself and rang the doorbell.
Briiiiiiing.
Scully wondered who would ring at the door. Jimmy wasn't due back for another three hours and she wasn't expecting anyone else. Her and Kristen had been discussing the night before. It had been a complete disaster. Andy and Kristen had arrived for dinner and Will was with the baby sitter. She had mentally prepared herself to tell Jimmy about the cancer but at the last minute, she had lost her nerve. She knew she had to tell him, but now wasn't the right time she decided.
"I wonder who the hell that is?" Kristen asked.
"Mommy. Mommy!" Will cried.
"Shush William. What is it?" Dana asked him.
"It's the door!" he answered.
Scully smiled. That was just like him. Silly little boy. "I know sweetie. Mommy's gonna answer it now." She got up of the sofa and walked over to the door while Will ran around her legs. Sully opened the door and was distracted by William pulling her trousers as he hid behind the front door.
Mulder heart leapt. It was her! "Scully?" He asked.
She slowly looked up. No one had called her that in a long time. Her eyes raked upwards and then she reached the persons face. Her hands zoomed to her mouth as she uttered "Mulder?" And collapsed on the floor.
"Hey Dana?" Someone called inside the dark house. A women came into view. "Oh my God! Who are you?"
"Fox Mulder." He informed her.
"The renowned Fox Mulder? The Fox Mulder who died 4 years ago." She sounded skeptical.
"The one and only. Oh and the dead part. It's a long story." He smiled. "Do you want some help?" Gesturing to Scully.
"Yeah we need to get her on the sofa. No offense, but then maybe you should go." Kristen looked at him.
Mulder nodded. "Sure I understand." He lifted Scully easily not daring to look at her as it would be fatal for his relationship with Sarah. He laid her gently on the sofa and said good-bye. "Oh I didn't get your name." He asked Kristen.
"Kristen Averleigh. I work with Dana."
"Okay thanks and bye." With that he opened the door and headed towards the car. He couldn't stop smiling. Mulder opened the door and sat in the seat.
"How'd it go?" Asked Skinner.
Mulder replied with only three words. "Great, just great."
Fight or Flight 6/?
Scully turned over in the spacious bed. As she did so, a million thoughts rushed into her head. Had she been dreaming? Was Fox Mulder, her Fox Mulder really alive? It was too much to hope for. She had been there She saw him laying in the dense forest of Montana. Dead. She heard footsteps outside the door and then she registered that Jimmy wasn't there beside her.
"Dana?" Jimmy softly called.
"Hmm? Yeah what is it?" She yawned.
Jimmy walked through the door. His tall muscular form blocking the light streaming from the stairway ceiling window.
"There's a note for you." His jaw twitched. "Who the hell is Mulder?" He asked her.
Scully's heart leapt. It wasn't a dream. It had been real. Mulder was alive. "He's just an old friend from DC a long time ago now. I guess he just wants to say hello."
"Another bloody friend from DC? How many are there?" He joked calming down. He had been worried Really worried. For a minute he had thought that Dana was having an affair. But she wouldn't do that. It wasn't in her nature. She had been brought up as a catholic when she was a child. As was William now. Hell he'd even converted from a Protestant to please her mother.
"A few." She smiled. "Can I please read my note?"
"Oh sure. "Jimmy handed over the note. "Breakfast'll be ready in 10 by the way." He called to her as he walked out of the bedroom.
Scully smiled after him then looked down at the note. It was him. It was his handwriting. She read eagerly....
Hey Scully,
I know my visit came as a shock to you but I just wanted to see how you are. I would be grateful if we could meet up at a cafe in town. It's called Jamie's Luncheonette and is apparently very good for coffee. I'll be there at 10 sharp. Be there or be square.
Mulder
Scully glanced at the bedside clock and started. It was 8:55, she had just under 2 hours to get there. Jimmy was making breakfast for her, something he rarely did and she didn't want to reject it. If she ate quickly and showered she could just about make it.
Her stomach was in knots, Mulder, alive, now after all this time. She didn't know if she could do this, but something deep inside told her she had to.
Jimmy had made her favorite, pancakes with real syrup. She didn't eat like this often, but when she did she made short work of the meal. Kissing her husband a long and tender thank you, she rushed into the shower in order to meet Mulder somewhere close to on time. She got out her good shampoo for the occasion, the strawberry scented one that Mulder used to love. Why was she doing this? She was married, she was happy, she didn't need to start this kind of thing now. Not now with the cancer specter looming large in her future, but still she could not talk herself out of wanting to see Mulder again.
As she dressed a sudden flash of anger overwhelmed her, but not at Jimmy or Mulder, at Walter Skinner. He must have known all of the time that Mulder was alive and yet he didn't tell her. He'd written to her religiously, called her, and had even been a guest in her house, but he'd never told her that Mulder, William's father and her true mate was alive and well.
She slammed her brush down on the dresser, "Damn you, Walter, how could you!" she screamed out loud, drawing Jimmy's attention at the mention of his archenemy's name.
"Dana, what is it, love?" He asked approaching her. "Did you call him about this Mulder thing? What did he do?"
"He didn't tell me, Jim. A sin of omission just like the old days."
Jimmy didn't always understand when she mentioned her relationship with Walter Skinner in the "old days" but it didn't matter to him, he hated the man. He was too close to his wife for his own good, and if this Mulder character made her angry with him, so be it.
"Listen, you're going to be late. Why don't I drive you to Jamie's? Finish your make up, you look a little pale. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine, just tired," she told him, standing on tiptoes to kiss him. "I love you," she said, as he left to get the car started. Scully glanced at the brush glad that Jimmy hadn't noticed. It was full of hair.
Meanwhile, Mulder sat in the diner waiting for Scully as he had done numerous times before. He looked down at his hands. God he felt nervous. But this was Scully for Christ's sake. His best friend. His one in a million. He smiled at that thought. He closed his eyes and thought back to a day, many years ago......
"They did more tests today, but not the horrible kind. I was awake and they made me lay still...while they shined lights in my eyes. They asked me questions, but I always lie now and tell them what they want to hear, just to make them stop. I hate them and I hate the way they treat me...like I'm an old suitcase they can just drag around and open up whenever they want to. They know I hate them, but they don't even care. They did more tests today, but not the horrible kind. I was awake and they made me lay still ... while they shined lights in my eyes. They asked me questions, but I always lie now and tell them what they want to hear, just to make them stop. I hate them and I hate the way they treat me ... like I'm an old suitcase they can just drag around and open up whenever they want to. They know I hate them, but they don't even care." Mulder recited to Scully what was written in the diary. His sister's diary. His heart wrenched. Mulder turned to face his partner with tears in his eyes.
"This is 1979. She's 14 years old here. 14 years old." He turned to later pages. "Sometimes I think my memories were taken by the doctors but not all of them. I remember faces. I think I had a brother... with brown hair, who used to tease me. I hope someday he reads this and knows I wish I could see his face for real."
He felt like crying. He always felt like crying when he remembered that night. The way she held his hand and supported him while he dealt with the finality of his sisters' and later mothers' death, and they way they talked about the stars. Whenever he looked at the night sky, he remembered that night, looking up at the sky with her, holding her hand for those few brief moments.
He couldn't wait to see her. He'd seen her yesterday for a moment, and she'd fainted on him. That was so unlike Scully, but then again, this was a different Scully. She was domesticated and had begun a new life. She wasn't the same person she was years ago, and, after all, as far as she was concerned, he was a ghost.
He turned his head and looked out at the parking lot and his breath caught. There she was, getting out of a beat up pick up truck, a man in the drivers seat. She looked smaller and thinner, but so beautiful. The Oklahoma morning sun glinted off her hair and her eyes sparkled. He wondered for a brief moment if she'd reject him if he tried to hold her.
Here goes nothing, he thought as the bell over the door rang and announced her arrival.
Scully gazed across the diner and honed in on him. He was just as she remembered. This could not actually be happening. Could it? She briefly smiled and walked over to the table where he sat.
"Hi." She breathed. She was dreaming. She had to be. He was dead....
"Hi." He answered. "You, erm, you look better than you did yesterday." He was aware that he was staring at her.
"You, you came as a bit of a shock. Not the person I was expecting." Scully nervously laughed.
"Well, then who were you expecting?" Mulder asked.
"Jimmy." She stated.
"Jimmy...." He waited for the surname. But he received a shock.
"My husband. Mulder, I'm married." She showed him her left hand and the wedding band.
Mulder felt himself become angry. "Well, that's nice." He sarcastically drawled. "You leave me and run away, and oh look, 4 years later you're married. What happened to that 'soul mate' thing. Huh? What happened to that?"
"You died! What the hell did you think I was gonna do, huh? Sit there and mourn for you for the rest of my life? No, Mulder. I think I was entitled to a little bit of security then. You have no idea of what happened or how it effected me! I should have gone that night, not you! I had to live with that guilt! Then, out of the blue, you show up on my doorstep expecting to come back into my life! I don't think so. I thought you were dead!" Tears were running down her cheeks as she furiously whispered her anger and frustration.
It suddenly dawned on Mulder that Skinner had not told her he was alive. He'd kept his secret just as he had kept hers. No wonder she had acted like she did. He was horrified. Mulder wasn't sure how to react to Skinner's actions, but he couldn't think about that now. He knew his friend had his reasons, and he'd address those with him later. Now, he had to focus on Scully.
"Scully, I'm sorry..." Mulder apologized, but she interrupted him by looking backwards.
"Hey sweetie." She called to a small boy, no more than four years old. He ran over to her arms wide open.
"Vrooooooom!" William giggled.
Scully smiled down to the boy. "Are you trying to be an airplane again?" He nodded.
"And who's this little fellow then?" Mulder asked thinking that maybe her brother's wife had had another child.
"I'm William and I'm four years old." Will answered this strange man's question, quite loudly.
"He's my son." She quietly told him while looking at the floor and turning her hands over and over.
Mulder's' jaw fell. Scully with a child? How? He knew that she had been for IVF. Hell, he even participated in that. But it hadn't worked. She had told him as he held her that it hadn't worked. He mentally worked back the years and then realized. Maybe it had just worked.... But was he the father? He looked down at Scully's hands and saw 6 thin red scars tattooed over her wrists. They looked relatively new.
"How did you get those?" he asked, reaching out to capture one slim, tiny wrist.
Her head shot up and she pulled hand back, trying to keep her voice even. "Oh they're nothing. I cut myself on the knife that's all." She evaded the question suitably.
He nodded as he silently stored that small piece of information. He didn't believe her for a second, but now wasn't the time to push it. "Well, I'd better be going. I have a lot of work to do. You know cases and the such. Major overload." He got up feeling down. He wondered if she wanted to meet him again, and felt something be pushed into the palm of his hand. He looked at her questionably.
"It's my number. Call me." Maybe she did want to still see him after all. He smiled and then made his way to the exit while overhearing the beginning of the conversation between mother and child.
"Who was that man mommy?" Will asked Scully.
"He was just an old friend sweetie. Just and old friend." She told him as she gazed out of the glass window watching him go down the road.
Fight or Flight 7/?
Jimmy slowly awoke to the smell of frying bacon wafting into the bedroom from downstairs. He dragged himself from the tangled crisp white sheets and thudded into the on suite bathroom. Twenty minutes later, he was showered and dressed and stood staring at his misty reflection in the mirror. Who exactly was this Mulder guy and why hadn't he contacted Dana in such a long time? He'd certainly never heard her mention him before. A dark look crossed Jimmy's' face. Maybe he was an ex boyfriend. But he left those thoughts for another time as he heard Scully call from the kitchen.
"Jimmy? Are you up yet honey? It's nearly lunchtime."
"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute." He hollered.
Then he walked out of the bathroom, down the hall and stairs and into the kitchen. A big smile adorned his face. This was why he loved her. Let a man sleep till noon and then greet him with a cholesterol inducing sandwich. He took the plate off her and then laid it on the side of the counter. Once he had done so, he drew her into his arms and held her close. They stood there for several minutes until he felt her draw away.
"What was that for?" She asked him.
"Just for being you." Jimmy smiled. He then turned and took a big bite out of the sandwich just as Will came bounding in with his new puppy running around his feet.
Scully turned and smiled at the scene. The puppy had been Kristen's' idea. The small collie was one of a litter of eight and Will had fallen in love with the smallest one. She had been dead set against having a dog. Especially after her previous track record. But he had pestered her for days until she had given in. And Jimmy didn't mind at all. It seemed as if the dumb dog loved him nearly more than Will!
"Mommy! Daddy! Guess what I made!" His eager eyes stared up at both of his parents.
"A mess?" Jimmy joked smiling at his wife, then looked his son over once more and realized it was true. His son was covered from head to toe in mud, in each of his little hands were two semi-rounded piles of mud.
"Mud pie!" he exclaimed, "One for you and one for Mommy. You said I could help with lunch today, right Mommy?"
"Right, baby. But Mommy cooks in the kitchen. You know what, let's put these on the porch, since mud bakes best on the porch, and then we'll get a bath before you eat lunch, okay, sweetie?"
"Can Reggie come to the bath too?" Will asked.
"No, honey, doggie's take their baths outside. After lunch, you can help me give him one. But for now, give the pies to Daddy and into the tub with you."
Scully was laughing as she led will up to the bathroom and watched Jimmy carry to slippery mud pies to the porch. She loved her little boy so much, and she loved Jimmy, if only she could completely let go of Mulder. And now that he was back...
"Mommy, I have to go potty before I get washed, okay?" Will broke into her thought.
"Why do you have to get washed, sweetie?" she asked feeling puzzled.
"I got mud on me, see Mommy," he held out his muddy hands.
"Of course I see baby, Mommy was just being silly," she tried to laugh as she steered him into the bathroom.
Jimmy smiled at the scene. It was rare to see Dana laugh. She was so serious lately. Then he heard the phone ring.
"I'll get that!" He called upstairs to his wife.
"What?" Scully answered. Not hearing him over the running water.
"I SAID I'LL GET THAT!" Jimmy bellowed and then gave up as the phone was still ringing. He picked up the handset and spoke into the mouth piece.
"Hello? Faulkner residence." Jimmy spoke politely.
"Is this Mrs. Dana Faulkner?" The caller asked.
"No, this is her husband. Mrs. Faulkner is busy right now. Can I take a message?"
"This is St. Stephens General Hospital calling. Could you please inform her that her blood work results are in and that Dr. Keany would like to see her as soon as possible. She knows the number to call. Please make sure that she gets this message?"
"Of course I will." Jimmy answered. What the hell was Dana having a blood test scan for anyway? "Good-bye." With that he put the phone down and walked into the family room and sat down on the couch.
Dana Faulkner slowly stepped down the stairs. She'd had a dizzy spell in the bathroom and still felt giddy. Thank God that Will hadn't been there. He was now dressed and playing with his toys in his bedroom. Now what was it she was going downstairs to do? She figured that she'd work it out once she was there.
"Dana? Is that you?" Jimmy asked.
"Yeah what is it honey?" She smiled.
"Your doctor called about your results from your blood test."
Scully felt the blood drain out of her face. He wasn't stupid. He'd figure it out sooner or later. Maybe now was the time to just tell him.
"Jimmy..." She spoke as he interrupted her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her as a massive grin split his face.
"Tell you what?" Again she felt puzzled. But what was new.
"That you're having a baby. My God I'm gonna be a father again!"
Scully sighed. Of course. Her symptoms must have seemed that she was pregnant. She had been sick nearly every morning and in conjunction with the dizziness and lack of taste, It seemed plausible. She decided to get it over and done with.
"Jimmy. I'm not pregnant." She stated.
"Then why did the hospital call?" Jimmy asked, shaking his head.
"Jimmy, I have cancer. It's a small tumor situated between my nasal cavity and my larynx. For the last 3 months I have been going for chemotherepy and radiation to try and fight the disease and I have every hope that I'm gonna be fine. I've had the exact same cancer before. About 9 years ago now. And I beat that. I'm fine." She'd avoided his eyes until now and what she saw was deep shock.
"Why didn't you tell me." He coldly demanded.
"I was waiting for the right time. Except I kept missing it." She flustered.
"Are you dying?" He timidly asked. Fearing the answer.
"Not today." She smiled.
Jimmy sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. "We can beat this. You and me together," He looked at her for agreement.
"Sure," Scully replied, settling into his arms.
Just then, William came downstairs, Reggie trailing him. He saw his parents hugging, tears in the eyes of his father. This was something strange, his Daddy never cried.
"Why are you crying, Daddy?" he asked, his small brow furrowed with concern, "Do you have a boo-boo or something."
Jimmy let go on Dana and walked over to pick the small boy up in his arms, "No, Tiger, Daddy had a dust in his eye. Mommy made it better."
"Did she kiss it? That's what she does when I get a boo-boo." The little boy leaned in and kissed his father's cheek. "Is it better now, Daddy?"
"Yeah, Tiger. All better. Now, Dana, why don't you relax and William and I will go and give the animal here a bath. And remind me to kill Andy the next time I see him. Dogs, indeed," he complained, carrying his son outside, Reggie faithfully at his heels.
Dana sat down on the sofa and sighed. "Well, at least that's over with," she thought. Her heart ached for Jimmy, he seemed so sad, but he seemed willing to support her, and she needed that.
The phone interrupted her thoughts and she went to answer it.
"Hello, Faulkner residence," she said.
"Mrs.Faulkner, this is Mindy from St. Stephen's General Hospital. I'm calling about the results of your blood test and imaging scan. Dr. Keany thinks it is imperative for you to come in right away. How's tomorrow at ten a.m.?"
"Tomorrow at ten is fine," Scully replied, settling the phone in the cradle without saying good bye. She then turned to join Jimmy outside. She didn't have a good feeling about this appointment, and all of a sudden she wanted her husband there, for she knew that the news she'd receive tomorrow would be something she didn't want to have to tell him, so she'd let him find out with her and they could support each other.
Fight or Flight 8/?
Scully found herself wandering slowly along the white sterile corridor with Jimmy tightly clasping on to her hand as if to hold on to his emotions. They sat side by side on the uncomfortable orange seats waiting for the doctor to call them. Jimmy looked down at his wife wondering how she had coped for so long all by herself, his arm tightened around her and he placed a kiss on her forehead. He hadn't even realized that she was ill. Well, there had been signs, little things like forgetting to do the shopping or being short tempered with Will, but he made light of it. Now her illness was a miserable reality. She was staring ahead as if mesmerized by the posters upon the opposite wall.
A buzz came over the receptionists intercom. "Mrs. Faulkner?" The receptionist trilled. "The doctor will see you now".
They both stood up collecting their various valuables and stepped into the cool interior of the doctor's office.
"Mrs. Faulkner?" The doctor asked as he slowly raised his eyes. "And this is?" He questioned.
"Mr. Faulkner." Jimmy stated, his arms going around his wife.
"I'm glad that you have finally told your husband Dana. He needed to know. You need the moral support."
"I know. I know." Scully quietly replied.
"Anyway. Sit down? Getting back to business. About your latest blood work Mrs. Faulkner, it has raised some concerns that maybe the cancer has metastasized. Now we're not completely sure but...." The doctor was interrupted by Jimmy.
"Metasta what?" Jimmy asked puzzled by this medical terminology.
The doctor sighed "metastasized means the cancer has spread. In this case it entered your wives bloodstream, Mr. Faulkner."
"Is that serious?" Jimmy touched Dana's leg. He couldn't seem to stop touching her.
"Yes," the doctor said, his face set firmly.
Jimmy drew a deep breath. This was too much. He had to leave the room. He jumped out of the chair and strode towards the door flinging it open and exiting the small office.
"Jimmy?" Scully asked turning around in her chair, rising to go after him.
"Dana, leave him be. He needs time to adjust, just like you did." The doctor continued. "I would to admit you to the hospital and I would like you to stay over night. I feel that it's necessary for you to receive a higher dose of chemotherapy than the pill you are currently taking. If it has metastasized, we can try to combat it through the blood stream with an intravenous chemotherapeutic agent.
"Tonight?" She asked.
"Yes, the quicker the better in my opinion."
"But the last time they said they got it all so if they were lying then maybe you're...." She trailed off.
"It was six years ago Dana. These things can return. You know that as much as anyone." He raised his eye brow and met her blue gaze.
Scully sighed and slumped back into her chair as she heard someone enter the room again.
Jimmy entered the office again cool and composed. He caught the ending of a conversation between the doctor and Dana. The hospital. Chemotherapy. This was worse than he'd imagined. What were they going to tell William?
"Ahhh. Mr. faulkner." The doctor spoke to him as if nothing had happened. "I was just confirming with your wife that it was okay by her to stay over night to begin her treatments. What do you have to say on the matter?" His green eyes stared at him.
"It's fine by me. I'll take care of Will. We'll watch a DVD or something. You can tell him you have the flu and are staying with Kristen and Andrew". He smiled thinly.
"Well, now that's settled, I'll go and discuss with the nurse about a bed." With that, he left the room.
"So, I'll go and pick up Will from kindergarten and tell him it's just us guys?" Jimmy pick at an invisible thread on his jacket. He wanted to go to the hospital with her, but their son would soon realize something was up if he did that.
"Jimmy I..." Scully sighed as he held her close.
"I know. Bye. Take care honey. I'll call you later." He kissed the top of her head and then left the room for the second time that hour, tears welling up in his eyes. He had to hide that for now though. Now was not the time for him to fall apart.
St. Stephen's HospitalScully slowly turned over as she heard the telephone ring. Doing so, a wave of nausea hit her filling her senses with alarm. She remembered this feeling and despised it deeply. She stuck out her arm and groped of the receiver.
"Hello?" Scully groggily answered.
"Hi mommy! It's me!" Will gleefully exclaimed.
"Hi sweetie. How are you?" She tenderly asked.
"I'm good. Daddy's making 'spagwetti'."
"Spaghetti?" She corrected him.
"That's what I said. 'Spagwetti'!" He giggled. "Guess what mommy?!"
"What?" She asked.
"I can read peoples minds. I read Daddy's and I was right! Can I read yours?"
"Sure baby".
"Hmmmm. Your wishing you were with me and daddy eating 'spagwetti'!"
Scully laughed. "That's for sure!"
"Where are you mommy?"
Scully froze for a moment, groping for an answer. "I'm at aunt Kristen's all green and barfing with the flu."
"Is that why you didn't come home mommy?" He asked quietly.
"Yes, sweetie. That's why". She answered. Tears coming to her eyes. Her voice broke.
"Daddy's calling me now so I'd better go now mommy isn't that right."
"Yes, sweetie. You go and eat your dinner. Night night. Don't let the bed bugs bite!" She whispered this final comment.
"Bye mommy." And with that, the phone went dead. Scully replaced the receiver and curled into a tight ball and started to cry.
Meanwhile, William slowly put down the phone and sadly walked into the kitchen. Jimmy looked up from the two plates and saw his boys face.
"Hey tiger. What's with the long tigger face? He joked.
"I miss mommy." Will stared at the linoleum tiles.
"I know you do tiger but hey! Mommy'll be home probably tomorrow when you get back from school." Jimmy exclaimed.
"But mommy has the flu." Will stated still upset as he wiped his eyes. "Is mommy really sick?"
Jimmy was surprised by this response. "No tiger. What made you think that?"
"I dunno. I can just feel it". Will said staring up at his daddy.
Jimmy shook his head and tenderly picked up the little boy and held him close. "Mommy's gonna be fine. Mommy's gonna be fine". Jimmy whispered as if to tell himself the same thing.
Fight or Flight 9/?Washington D.C.
Mulder couldn't concentrate. Ever since he'd gotten back from Oklahoma he'd found his mind constantly drifting to Scully and that little boy she held close to her that last time her saw her in the diner. He'd missed her since that day. She'd never called him, and he fought the urge to call her. She had her own life and he had his. If he could only dismiss her from his mind and accept his life as it was now. He had a friend and he had a lover, they just weren't one in the same person anymore. He looked down at his cluttered desk and saw the case file which he was supposed to be working on.
"Nah." He lent back as he shook his head, checked no one was outside the room and then spun in the revolving chair staring at the ceiling. He heard a small cough and stooped abruptly looking towards the door frame and saw that Walter Skinner was standing there.
"Um, Mulder? What's wrong?" Skinner stared at him, reading his face like a map. "Thinking about Scully?"
"How'd you know?" Mulder asked grimly, picking up a pencil and tossing it up into the ceiling.
"You have the same look on your face you always have when you think about Scully. Like a child who's lost his pet puppy." Skinner sat beside him and prodded, "Want to talk about it?"
Mulder sighed as he recounted his thoughts to Skinner who dutifully nodded at the right places.
"Well Mulder, i wish i could tell you what to do; but i can't"
"Yeah I know Walt but." Mulder sighed. "Something was up. Something was wrong." He looked up at Skinner. "I don't know man but I could just feel it."
Skinner nodded while looking at his friend. "I know, Mulder. I could feel it too. In her letters and in her voice when she called me a few times. She's not the same Scully you know. She's a wife and a mother. She is different. It may feel wrong but..."
Mulder rose from his seat and ran a hand through his hair. "No, Walter! That's not it! That's not it at all. She's not different, she's...she had these marks on her wrists. She said she cut herself with a kitchen knife. But six times? On both wrists? It doesn't make sense, Walter. Something's is definitely wrong with her. Do you know what's going on?"
Skinner took a deep breath. "No, I don't know. But I do know things aren't right. You should call her. Try and see her again. That's the only advice I can give you. Or if you want..."
Just then his cell phone rang cutting him off. "Skinner."
"Oh hi Walter. Erm I was wondering if er Mulder was there." Scully laughed nervously.
"Um, yeah, um, just give me a second." He rises from his seat next to Mulder and exited the office. "Dana, before I put Fox on, how are you? We haven't talked in a while and you know I get worried."
Scully subconsciously tapped her food in a quick staccato beat. "I'm fine Walter. Why wouldn't I be"?
"I don't know, Dana. You haven't called me in a long time. You haven't written. You used to call me every week. I miss you, I miss my little man."
Scully laughed out loud. "Will misses you too. He's getting bigger every day."
"So, when do I get that yearly invitation to come out and see you. I know he's gotten bigger, I've seen the photos you've sent your Mom, but I still want to see him in person. I must have like twenty gifts at my place for him.
"I don't know Walter. I'm really busy at work you know, as is Jimmy. And Will's just started preschool..." Scully trailed off.
"Well, that's why God invented weekends. I don't have a lot of time either. You always made time for me before. And Dana, I spoke to Maggie, she said you haven't asked her to visit in months. That tells me there's something wrong. I hope I'm not prying here, but are things all right, you know, in you marriage?"
"Of course. Things are fine. Listen Walter, I don't have long"...
"Okay, I'm not so old I can't take a hint. I'll put Fox on the line, but Dana, I'm serious, I'm going to come out there and see that kid whether you invite me or not..." He tried to keep his tone light, although every fiber of his being was telling him something was wrong.
"Sure Walter. Call me later. We'll discuss it then huh"?
"I hold you too that," he said smiling, as he walked back into the office, "Mulder, for you, it's Dana."
"Hello, Scully? How are you?" He kept his tone formal, not really feeling comfortable talking to her yet. Strange after nine years of doing nothing but talking to her.
"I'm good, Mulder."
"Good, good. I kept meaning to call you but, well...I wasn't sure if you'd want me to so I didn't and..."
"You're rambling Mulder" Scully said.
"I know, I'm sorry. So to what do I owe the pleasure, Scully? Everything all right in the Sooner State?"
"Where"?
"The Sooner State. Oklahoma? Scully you live there, I can't believe you've never heard it called that." Mulder raises his eyebrows at Skinner who is standing protective guard over his cell phone.
"Oh silly me. I misheard you. I thought you said Mooner State" She chuckled embarrassedly. "I really need to go and get my ears checked eh."
"Are you all right Scully? How is the little boy, was it William?" Mulder was concerned. This was not his Scully, someone else was in her place.
"Huh? Oh yeah Will's fine. I'm good too. Except for those ears. Listen Mulder. I have something to talk to you about."
Mulder shifted in his seat and sat up a bit straighter, "I'm all ears, Scully, what can I do for you?"
"I'm coming to D. C for a medical convention tomorrow, I was selected to attend out of many doctors in the county."
"That's great Scully, congratulations. So what you need me to pick you up at the airport or something, what do you need?"
"Yeah, that's be nice. My flight gets into JFK at 9:52 A.M. Can you make it then?"
"Um, Scully, if you're coming to Washington, why is your plane landing in New York?"
"Oh, did I say JFK. I meant Dulles." She laughed to herself.
"I don't see how you got JFK from Dulles, but okay."
"Yeah, well you know me, dizzy sometimes."
"No, you're not. Never, Scully. Now what did you want to talk to me about."
Scully smiled, this was the Mulder she remembered, "I'll tell you when you pick me up tomorrow, I don't want to discuss it over the phone."
Mulder looked at Skinner again and knitted his eyebrows together, "Okay, whatever you want. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow. I'll see you then."
"Good-bye."
Mulder hung up the phone and looked up at Skinner, "Something is wrong with her, What is it?"
Skinner sighed and sat down across from Mulder again, "I know something is wrong, Fox, I just don't know what. I think it has something to do with her husband but..."
"Oh, yeah. The husband..." Mulder spat sourly.
"Mulder, he's not a bad guy. He's jealous as hell of me, but he seems to treat her well and he loves William. I just hope he isn't having an affair or something like that."
"I hope so to cause if he does anything to hurt her I'll"...
"Oh, no you won't. You'll have to get in line." Skinner could feel his fist tighten at the thought of Jimmy hurting Dana. The man would be breathing through a tube
"Listen Walter. You don't understand. You'll never understand what she means to me."
"I do understand Fox. You love her. It's plain as day, it always has been. But, oh Jesus, Mulder you weren't the one who had to watch...never mind, it's you that doesn't understand."
"Listen Walt. I have to go. Talk to Sarah. Get some groceries"...
"Fox, are you going to pick her up tomorrow?"
"Of course I am. Why"?
"I want you to be careful. She's vulnerable, she's confused, and something isn't right, Fox. When you two are finished doing whatever it is you are going to do, I want you to bring her to me. Will you do that?"
"Sure Walt but I don't see what any of this conversation has to do with you needing to see her"...
"I need to see for myself, that's she's okay. Please, it'll do this old heart good. We became very close while you were...away and we learned to trust each other, to need each other, and well I just need to see her for myself."
"Sure Walt. I'll do that. Don't want you dying on me." Mulder chuckled.
"Don't joke about things like that, Mulder," Skinner's face held a serious countenance.
"Sorry." He looked like a wounded puppy.
"No, I'm sorry, Mulder. It's just, I have this pain..." he indicated his heart, "Right here and..."
"Oh my God Walt are you okay"!
Skinner reached for the desk and sat in the chair again, "You know, Fox, I was kidding, but now I'm not. My chest really..." His voice was fading a bit.
Mulder leaned over his friend. His color had, in a matter of minutes, gone from a healthy tan to a ghostly gray and Mulder could see where the beads of perspiration had begun to break out of his forehead.
"Walter, I think you're having a heart attack. Are you having chest pains? Can you speak?" Mulder's mind ran through the first aid classes he'd taken when he was reinstated in the bureau. If Skinner could speak he was not in immediate danger, but he still needed to get to a hospital.
"Yeah, I feel like I've just run a hundred miles," he was gasping, but was still fully alert, all good signs.
Mulder hit the number for the AD's private line and asked Kim to bring down some aspirin from the AD's stash and then he called for an ambulance.
"I'm fine, Fox," Skinner insisted. "I'm just worried about, Scully."
"That's bull. You are clearly having a heart attack. Kim's on her way down and I've called for an ambulance. Just rest until they come."
Mulder kept his voice calm and steady. He helped Skinner loosen his tie and held the water glass for him when Kim arrived with the aspirin. It seemed like forever instead of just fifteen minutes when the medics arrived.
"White male, fifty-two, on medication for high blood pressure." Mulder tried to explain to the medics Skinner's condition as they placed him on a gurney and began to take his blood pressure and pulse.
"Agent..."
"Mulder. Fox Mulder. He's Walter Skinner."
"Agent Mulder, we're going to transport him to D.C. General. You want to ride along?"
Mulder silently nodded and accompanied Skinner and the medics to the hospital.
D.C General Hospital ER
Skinner was whisked away from Mulder almost as soon as they arrived at the hospital. His blood pressure had risen and his respiration rate had dropped on the way to the ER. The medics told Mulder they were almost certain he was experiencing some kind of coronary event. Mulder had thought to himself, "No shit! The man had chest pains and has nearly passed out and your almost certain."
The doctors and nurses met them out the door and took Skinner to a trauma room. They had to stabilize his pressure and wanted to start drug therapy for the heart attack to avoid an more invasive procdure later on. If there was ever a time Mulder wished for Scully to be with him, this was it. She'd understand what they were talking about. He didn't have a clue.
When the doctors told had come out and told him that Skinner was being moved to a Cardiac Care Room and was asleep he felt it was finally safe for him to step outside and give Sarah a call. They were supposed to go out that night, but now given the circumstances, he thought it would be better if he stayed with Walter. He had no one and when he woke up, Mulder wanted to be there. The man was his best friend, he couldn't let him wake up in a hospital all alone, he just couldn't. He knew what that was like and he wouldn't wish it on anyone. If only Sarah had been that understanding.
Mulder dialed his home number and waited patiently for Sarah to answer the phone. When she did, he almost wished she hadn't.
"Hi, Honey. It's me," Mulder said trying not to let on there was a problem immediately.
"Oh hey Fox! I was just going to call you. What time shall we meet"? She sounded so excited, he hated to do this to her.
"Um, actually, that's why I'm calling. About tonight..." She cut him off, all ready knowing what he was going to say.
"What? Don't tell me you're cancelling?"
Mulder bit his lip. She's pissed all ready. "Honey, I'm so sorry. You see, it's like this, Walter had a heart attack tonight."
"I'm not surprised," Sarah said coldly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mulder retorted in kind.
"Well those little 'drinky' nights are doing him no good. He should know that. He's what 56"?
"Fifty-two," Mulder bit out. He didn't need this, he just didn't, not with his closest friend lying in a hospital bed seriously ill.
"Oh, whatever. So you're not coming home then." It wasn't a question.
"No, I'm not coming home...what kind of question is that. He's had a heart attack, he has no family, I'm his friend and I'm staying here with him. If you'd like to join me, I could really use you're support."
"I don't like hospitals. Anyway. He doen't like me so why should i come. He's a complete bastard to me"
"He's not a bastard to you? If anything you're a bitch to him. And I'm not asking you to come here for him, I'm asking you to come here for me. So will you come?"
"Fine, I'll be there. Meet me around the front." she ordered before hanging up.
Mulder knew it took about twenty five minutes without traffic to reach the hospital from his apartment, so it was safe for him to go and get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria. It was lousy but it was hot. He paced back and forth in the front hallway and awaited Sarah's arrival. A half hour later, he saw her walking quickly towards him, her long hair tied against her neck, blowing in the wind.
"Fox," Sarah walked up to him and gave him a peck on the cheek. He in turn set the coffee down and pulled her into his arms, holding on tight, "How is he?" she sniffed against his shirt.
Mulder didn't answer right away, he just continued to hold her, "Fox?" she prompted.
"I don't know anything yet, Hon. I'm waiting..." he was interruped by a deep masculine voice calling, "Fox Mulder. I'm looking for a Mr. Fox Mulder."
"I think that's the doctor Fox". Sarah said, pulling away from his chest.
"Come on," he said to her, keeping his arm securly around her shoulders. He had the urge to keep her near him.
"Mr. Mulder, Mrs. Mulder, I'm Dr. Miller, I treated Mr. Skinner upstairs in CCU. He's had a mildly serious myocardio infarction. We've started him on Heparin and I increased his blood pressure medication. He has over fifty percent blockage in two of his major arteries. It's a miracle the attack wasn't more serious."
"When will he be let out of the CCU?" Sarah asked, trying to sound concerned for her lover's friend.
"We'll probably keep him in CCU for about two or three days, depending on how he responds to the medication. Overall, we're likely to keep him hospitalized for about ten days. He'll need time off of work though and someone to stay with him while he recuperates."
Sarah nodded and looked up at Fox.
"He can stay with us, that isn't a problem," Mulder told the doctor, "Can we see him?"
Sarah stared at Mulder with silent anger her eyes wide while drawing in a deep breath which Mulder did not miss.
"We can't let him stay alone, Sarah, and he doesn't have anybody else. I'll take care of him, you won't have to lift a finger. Now, Doctor, can we see him?" Mulder asked again, anxious. Sarah turned away from him and stepped out of his arms, refusing to look at him.
"Yes, of course, Mr. Mulder. By the way, do you know who Dana is? That's the name he spoke while I was examining him."
Sarah sighed at the name. She was going to come back and destroy Fox again.
"Yes, Dana Scully. She's an old friend of mine and Walter's . She's do into town tomorrow. She's a medical doctor."
The doctor nodded and Mulder once again took Sarah's arm and led her to the cardiac care floor. He could tell she was brooding by the look on her face, so he decided to draw her fire before they reached Walter's room.
"What?" he prodded.
"What do you think"! she snapped.
"I think that you're angry for some inexplicable reason and I don't want you talking it out on Walter, so let me have it before we go in and see him."
"All right, then," she grated out, "I'll let you have it. How dare you tell that doctor that he could stay with us without even consulting me? And how dare you not tell me that that woman was coming back here?"
"First of all, Walter Skinner is my best friend and there is no other place for him to stay while he recovers. I'm not going to foist him off on some nurse that cares more about the money in her pocket than the patient in the bed. And second of all, I didn't tell you about Scully coming to DC because I just found out about it right before Walter had his heart attack."
"Still," she countered, "I should have been told."
"Oh, and what would you have me do, say, 'Oh, Walter, hold on a minute with that heart attack so I can call my girlfriend,' I had more important things to do at the particular moment. You know sometimes you can be a real bitch." His voice started to catch with tears of fear for his friend and Sarah felt her heart soften just a bit. He was right she was being a bitch and he didn't deserve it, yet.
"Come here". She slowly embraced him clasping him tightly while he sobbed on her shoulder, whispering nonsensical words into his ear.
"He's my best friend, Sarah. At sometimes, my only friend, and I really though..." he trailed off and buried his face in her hair.
She stroked his hair reveling in the silkyness of it. God she loved his hair, so soft and thick, "I know," she murmured to him, "I know. I'm here for you, Fox. I always will be and I know that Walter and I don't see eye to eye but I will try to be civil. I don't realize how cutting I can be sometimes" She kissed his neck and then gently eased away from him clasping his head in between her hands while staring into his eyes, "Now, calm down. You don't want him to see how upset you've been. It'll only upset him further.
She kissed him again and then took his arm and led him down the hall.
"I know you're right. I can't believe I lost it like that. Sarah, will you come in there with me. It's one thing to see someone smaller than you like that, but, he's so..."
"Of course I will Fox," she told him as they turned into the room.
Mulder and Sarah walked slowly into the CCU cubicle. Skinner was lying on the bed, the sheet up to his waist, EKG electrodes attached to his chest, the heart monitors beeping appropriately. His eyes were closed, but Mulder knew he wasn't asleep. He walked over to the bed and touched his arm lightly. Sarah did the same on the other side of the bed.
"Mulder? Is that you?" Skinner rasped while slowly opening his eyes.
"Yeah, don't talk too much. Save your strength. It's me and..."
"Me. Sarah. How are you feeling Walter"? she asked with genuine concern.
Skinner laughed. "I've been better Sarah. I've been better".
"I'm sure. You scared me!" he scolded, "Don't ever do that again."
Skinner chuckeled which ended in a throaty cough.
"Are you all right? Are you in any pain?" Mulder was fussing like a mother hen.
"No Mulder stop fussing. You sound like my mother. I'm fine. Now when am I getting out of here?" Skinner cheerfully smiled which ended in another grimace.
Sarah absently stroked Skinner's left arm wanting to keep him calm. She didn't care for the man herself, but Fox loved him like a brother and if something happened to him, it would destroy Fox.
"Well you two should proberbly go. Didn't you mention a evening out earlier Mulder?"
Mulder's eyes met with Sarah's over Skinner's prone form, "Yeah, I did."
"Well then what are you waiting for. Go". Skinner urged, moving his arm back from Sarah's hand and trying to put it under the covers. She realized he was cold and gently pulled the sheet up to cover his arms and chest.
"Oh no, Walter, we couldn't posibly go. You're still ill." Sarah felt bad for what she had said earlier and was trying to make it up to Fox.
"Yes, you can. I'm feeling tired now and really could do with a rest. Go," he whispered as he closed his eyes again and let sleep claim him.
Mulder and Sarah walked out of the room holding hands and exited the hospital. Neither one of them felt like the evening of dinner and dancing they had planned, so they decided to pick up a pizza on the way home and just hold each other all night.
Mulder awoke early the following morning so that he could make sure he got to airport on time. Scully hated it when he was late. Sarah was remarkably understanding about his meeting Scully at the airport, especially since Walter had asked for her twice the night before.
Scully walked into the airport with trepidation. She was about to see Mulder again. She should be excited, but she instead she was filled with dread. She had trumped up the medical conference as an excuse to go to DC and see him for they had many things to discusss. But first, she had to tell him about her cancer and that would not be easy.
Mulder was all ready there and waiting for her when she arrived. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept all night. She didn't like it when he didn't sleep, it meant something was wrong.
Mulder lifted his hand in the air to flag her down, the self consciously lowered it, feeling his cheeks redden. She looked gorgeous dressed in form fitting black jeans and a light blue sweater that matched her eyes.
She slowly walked over to him and plasted a smile onto her face. "Hi". She loudly whispered.
"Hi, yourself," he said, in the same tone, "You look great, Scully. Did you lose weight?"
"Yeah a bit. You look different too, changed your hair." She commented looking him over.
"Is that you're only bag?" he asked, indicating her carry-on, "Or do we need to go to baggage claim?" He made a face of mock horror.
"No this is it. I travel light," she smiled.
"Yeah, you do. God this is awkward," he said, taking her bag as they started to walk toward the parking lot.
"Yeah, it is," she agreed, "Shall we go?" She indicated the exit.
"We shall. Do you have to go right to the conference hall or can we make a stop first?"
"Huh?"
"The medical conference. Do you have to go immediately or can we make a stop on the way?" He repeated the question and made a mental note that she seemed confused again.
"Oh right, right. Jet lag. Do you mind if we stop? I'm dying for a coffee". It was a plausable excuse, she thought, keeping up with his pace.
"The hospital? Oh no the uh the conference is at The Watergate much later. It starts at uh 4.00".
"No, Scully. I should have explained first off, we have to go to the hospital to visit someone."
"Oh who? Anyone I know"?
"Um, yeah, actually...Scully, I'm sorry to tell you this way, but it's Skinner. He's in the hospital and he's asked to see you."
"Oh my god. Is he alright? We spoke on the phone...."Yesterday?"
"Yeah, Scully, right before you spoke to me. He's going to be all right, but it was touch and go there for awhile."
"I wanna see him. Is it really bad? What was it?" She seemed so frightened, she was beginning to shake so Mulder held her elbow to steady her.
"The doctor said an inferior wall MI. He's very weak and tired, but they seem to think he'll be fine. Just needs bed rest and some Heparin."
"Oh. Okay". What the hell was an 'inferior wall MI? she thought to herself.
"I'm sure he wants to see you and see if you agree with the diagnosis. He asked for twice yesterday. He really misses you."
"Yeah. I've missed being here. Where did the bullet hit"? She asked speculating a hazardous guess at what the 'inferior wall MI" was.
"Bullet? Scully I just told you he had a heart attack. He wasn't shot." Mulder stared at her in disbelief. This was not the Scully he knew, something was terribly and definately up. "Scully, what's wrong?"
"Nothings wrong! Why does everyone keep asking me that!" She exploded. "I'm fine". She stated heavily placing the words.
"You just seemed a little confused the past few days that's all. Are you worried, about Walter?"
"Yes that's what's wrong. I'm just fed with my entire life at the moment. Ignore me."
"Can't do that. I've ignored you for too long. Now, you said yesterday you had something to tell me, is that part of what's bothering you?"
"Look I'd rather not disscuss it in the sreet if you don't mind. I just need to sit down". Her voice was growing weak and she felt the world start to spin out of control, she reached out for Mulder, who took her by the elbow and quickly led her into the airport hospitality shop.
"Are you all right, Scully?" Mulder asked concerned, "Just sit tight, I'll get you some juice."
Scully took a deep breath "I'm fine Mulder stop worrying. It's extreamly stuffy in here and I just felt faint. Once I get outside I'll be better".
"Okay, okay, it's just, after Skinner...he said he was fine too."
"Yeah well, I'm not Skinner am I. What does he have to worry about?" She sounded bitter to Mulder, which confused him all the more.
"He's had a heart attack Scully. He could have died last night," Mulder said not too forcefully in defense of his friend.
"I know, i know and i'm sorry.. What did I say? Just ignore me".
"Scully, I'm really worried about you. Is that man, what's his name, Jack, did he do something to you?"
"Jimmy. No, really I'm fine. As I said to Walter yesterday, everting's fine between Jimmy and I. Will's fine. Hell even the dog's fine". She was exasperated, first Walter now Mulder.
"Well, all right, if you're sure. We better get to Walter, he's probably refused meds until you check his charts."
Scully laughed again. "Proberbly knowing Walter".
She rose from the seat and started walking beside Mulder again. Inwardly, she hoped he was wrong and that Walter was being a compliant patient. She couldn't trust her medical knowledge these days and that last thing she wanted to do was endanger her friends health. Out of the blue, she was assaulted by an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
"This is all my fault," she said softly, almost to herself as Mulder loaded her bag in the back seat and started the car.
"How do you figure that?" Mulder asked, he didn't know how this Scully figured anything.
"He wanted to come down and visit me and William. He'd asked about it before he put you on the phone, I brushed him off and I think I hurt his feelings. Hey, if everyone I cared about brushed me off I'd have a heart attack too."
Mulder sighed, that sounded like something that he would say, "Scully, he had a heart attack because his arteries are blocked and he need to have them catherized. You had nothing to do with this, and you of all people should know that, but if it will make you feel any better, maybe when he's well enough to travel, you could take him home to Oklahoma for a few days."
She smiled and looked at Mulder, he always knew what to say to make her feel better. They rode the rest of the way to the hospital in silence and rode up to the CCU ward in much the same way. Scully was nervously toying with her wedding ring and Mulder placed a calming hand over hers.
"Just a word of warning, he looks really bad. He's pale and weak and there's tubes and stuff..."
"Mulder, I've seen both Skinner and you with plenty of tubes sticking out of you in my time. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Scully walked into the cubicle and smiled brightly when she saw Skinner sitting up in bed, pushing the away the nurses hand as she tried to feed him.
"Hey, Walter, this is one hell of a way to get me to come and see you. How are you feeling?" She kept her tone light and soft, like she always did when someone was hospitalized.
"Better now that my two best friends are here. Will you please tell her I can feed myself?" He indicated the nurse.
"No, I won't," Scully replied, "But I will take over. You need to stay very still and rest." She took the bowl of clear liquid and began to feed it to him slowly.
"I hate being fed. I feel like a baby," he whined as he obidiently sipped the broth.
"I know," Mulder agreed, gently, "But can you think of a prettier nurse."
Mulder knew he was out of line, but the words slipped out and Scully let them go her focus only on Skinner for right now.
When he'd finished almost all of his lunch, she settled him back against the pillows. "Walter, I was thinking, when you're well enought to travel, how about coming to stay with me for a few weeks. Not as soon as yet get out of the hospital, but after you can travel. Would you like that?"
Skinner smiled, "Yes, I would like that very much."
Scully smiled and reached out to caress his cheek, "Good, William would love it and that way I can make sure you're being cared for properly."
"So erm Scully how about taking a look at those medical charts?" Mulder suggested, anxious to see Scully's opinion.
"Oh okay, I'll take a quick look". Scully walked over to the end of the bed not meeting either of the to mens' eyes. She slowly picked it up and lifted up the cover scaning the almost imposible to read handwriting.
"Well, everything appears fine, Walter. They's put you on heparin to thin out your blood and prevent stroke from that elevated blood pressure I warned you about and the changed your blood pressure medication, it may make you a bit dizzy and nauseous, but after you get used to it you should be fine."
Mulder noticed that she seemd to be more "with it" as she looked at the file, not as confused. He smiled to himself, perhaps it was just jet lag.
"What if it doesn't work, Dana? Then what?" Walter sounded scared to her, not like he ever had before. She seen a lot of feeling on him, anger, frustration, sadness, anguish, even but never fear. She looked at Mulder and raised her eyebrow, he moved closer to the bed. Scully took Walter's hand and began to stroke it gently, explaining in a calm, steady, controlled tone, "If the medication doesn't work they'll probably either try more drugs or there is always the posibility of surgery.
This got Mulder's mind whirring again, she knew Skinner had a fear of surgery and needles and the like. It disturbed him that Scully would say something like that to a man that just had a serious cardiac episode.
"Yeah man. I've had plenty of Ops and I've pulled through". Mulder cheerfully retorted.
Skinner's heart was pounding, the bleeps on the machine and the EKG strip confirmed his fear at Scully's words. She looked at Mulder confused, her eyebrows knitting together, "Are you okay, Walter?" she stupidly asked, of course he wasn't, it was obvious.
Mulder was beginning to panic, his friend was beginning to look like he had the night before, his breathing was becoming rapid, but he managed to answer Scully's question, "I'm...all.. right...I...just hate surgery..."
"Walter lean back. You shouldn't be sitting up. Take deep breaths. You're having a panic attack. Right Scully"?
"Yeah. He has the classic symptoms," she answered, observing Skinner as he lay on the bed, panic and pain etched in his features, "Shall I call a nurse, Mulder?"
"Yeah, you do that," Mulder told her. She reached for the call button and pressed it.
While they awaited the nurse, Skinner put a hand to his chest to try and ease the pain there. Scully moved quickly to get a cool cloth and placed it on his brow. Why did she say that? She knew how frightened Skinner was of operations and that exciting a cardiac patient was a major medical no-no, yet for some reason she couldn't recall Skinner's intense fear until it was almost too late.
"There, Walter," she said as she bathed the perspiration from his face, "You feeling okay, now. Lie back and rest."
"Yeah. It's just a tightening of my chest. It's passed now, really, I'm fine," Walter assured her, his hand tightening around hers. "Alright". Called the nurse. "I'll have bo more of you upsetting Mr. Skinner". "Unless you're relatives, out"!
"He doesn't have any relatives" Mulder protested,"We're the only family he has. The man is ill and he shouldn't be all alone..."
"Out! You'll just upset him even more. As you said. He's ill and doesn't need bo be excited".
"Mulder, Dana, I'm all right and I'm getting tired. Now, get on out of here, but I want to see you both later all right?"
"Sure," they replied in unison.
Scully lifted her gaze to the nurse and tightened her grip even more on Walter's hand, "One of us should really stay her with him until he falls asleep,"
The nurse rolled her eyes, "You can both come back later, but for now..."
"Alright, alright we're going. Come on Scully. Bye Walt"!
Walter waved and let go of Scully's hand. She was somewhat reluctant to leave and that touched him. She also looked awful, tired and drawn, not like her usual self. When he stopped feeling like there was an elephant on his chest, he'd get after he about that, but for now, he just wanted to sleep.
Half and hour later, Mulder and Scully sat in an old Mom and Pop coffee shop a few blocks from the hospital. Mulder noticed on the drive over that Scully was lost in her own thoughts. He knew she was afraid for Walter, but he thought there was more to it than that, and by God, he was going to find out what it was, if it killed him.
"So Scully. What was it you wanted to talk to me about? I've been dying to hear what it is".
"Funny you should word it that way, Mulder. But, um, yeah, I have to talk to you about something very serious," she looked down at her half drunk mug of coffee and waited for him to respond.
"What. Is it something to do with that boy? Will, isn't it?" He asked, hoping nothing was wrong with the child.
"Yes it is, but no, nothing to do with William," she continued to avoid his soulful hazel eyes.
"Well then what is it"? he prodded gently.
"Mulder, have you noticed anything different or strange about me since I've been here?" she asked hoping she could lead him to the conclusion without actually saying the words.
Mulder laughed. "Well you could say that. I've noticed that you've become confused, disoriented, and your appearance has changed slightly."
"My appearance. How has it changed Mulder?" She asked, thinking please take the hint.
"It's just. You. You've changed. You don't have that fire in you anymore. That fire kept us going you know and..." he sighed, "You're not the Dana that i remember. You're a mother now and you're married. It's a lot to take in."
"I know, Mulder. But this has nothing to do with Jimmy or William or my new life in Oklahoma. This has to do with something else, something we've dealt with before only this time, it's much, much worse."
Mulder felt his heart beat quicken at her words. What was she trying to tell him? Had she been abducted again? Had her child been...no she's have told him that all ready. That only left one thing for it to be...
"Oh, God, Scully," he whispered, his heart beating in his throat, "It's the cancer isn't it. The cancer is back."
Fight or Flight 10/?Oklahoma Airport, Ten Days Later
Kristen Averleigh stood next to her husband and waited for Dana and her friends from D.C. to emerge from the gate. Dana had called her and told her that she would be bringing two of her friends back with her from Washington. One was the enigmatic Mr. Mulder and the other was Walter Skinner. She'd asked if Kristen and Andrew would mind putting Mulder up at their place for a few days. She'd of course agreed and didn't ask any questions.
The three of them emerged from the gate on top of the other. Mulder came first, loaded down with enough bags for two people. Dana and Mr. Skinner came next. He was using a cane and leaning on her a bit. Neither one of them were carrying any bags.
"He looks like Hell," Andrew commented to his wife, referring to Skinner.
"Dana mentioned he'd been ill. He's come to rest for a bit and to visit with William." Kristen answered him as she started forward toward her friends.
"What happened?" Andrew asked, his wife always left out certain details about things, never giving more information than necessary. She'd have made a great FBI Agent.
"Dana said he had a heart attack. You know, the thing that you are going to have if you keep eating like a pig."
Andrew laughed and smiled at his wife as he followed her over to her friends. Dana looked well rested and happy to be in their company. She smiled when she saw Kristen and Andrew approaching.
"Walter, you remember my good friends, Kristen and Andrew Averleigh. You both remember Walter?"
Handshakes and greetings were shared all around before Dana gestured to Mulder, "Kristen, Andrew, I don't think you've been formally introduced, this is Fox Mulder a good friend of mine, Mulder the Averleighs."
Mulder shook the outstretched hands and studied Scully as she was hugged first by the woman, then by the man, then by the woman again. She seemed so healthy today, no confusion, no dizziness. It was days like this that he hated, when it was too easy to pretend that everything was fine. It wasn't. The symptoms of the tumor were more pronounced now than ever before. This time the cancer was affecting who Scully was. Her brilliance, her memories, her very soul was being taken this time and there was no CGB Spender to blame.
When she'd told him the news, it had shocked him, made him almost stop breathing. He couldn't believe that the chip had lost it's effect or worse yet, had never worked at all. They made the mutual decision not to tell Skinner, he was still a bit weak from the heart attack and excitement and high blood pressure next mixed well. Today, however, she was the Scully of old. She was minding Skinner's steps carefully, making sure he didn't overexert himself. Truth be told, Mulder felt a bit left out of the mix, Scully and Skinner had formed a strong bond while he was missing and putting them together only renewed it.
This was a trip take to heal. Skinner's body, his mind, and Scully's spirit.
"So how did you guys meet"? Mulder asked Scully indicating Kristen and Andrew.
"I met Dana at work. I'm a nurse on the Peds ward at St. Stephen's. And Andrew, well, we're kind of a package deal." Kristen responded for Scully.
"That's cool." Mulder smiled "How you feeling there Walter"?
"I'm getting a bit tired. How far is it to the farm from here? I've forgotten." Skinner was beginning to lean a bit heavily on Scully, his heart attack had drained him more than he'd let on before leaving DC.
"It's about a half hour dive from here Walter." Scully piped up. "Once we're there, Will'll be waiting for you with a big hug."
"Oh, Dana," Kristen chimed in, "we've explained to William that Walter was ill and he had to be careful."
"Yeah, He's becoming a real handful. I don't know where he gets the energy from."
"Probably from that bee pollen." Mulder muttered and then stopped when he realised everone was looking at him in puzzlement.
"Inside joke." Scully informed them while laughing softly.
Andrew nodded and turned his attention to Skinner, who had paled considerably since he's arrived, "You all right, Sir?"
"Fine, son, fine," Skinner responded. "What about you Scully? You look a bit tired."
"I'm fine. Here we are. Do you wanna both put your bags in the trunk?"
Kristen popped open the trunk while Mulder swung both of the bags into the deep interior.
The group piled into the car and began the drive to the Faulkner farm. Scully was nervous at the idea of introducing Jimmy and Mulder and at the prospect of introducing Mulder to his son.
Skinner sensed her nervousness and squeezed her hand, "No worries," he whispered.
She squeezed back and flashed a brief smile. "Thanks."
Meanwhile, back at the house, William was running around the house excited about his Mommy coming home and bringing his Uncle Walter. Uncle Walter always played with him and gave him toys. Aunt Kristen said that Uncle Walter was sick and needed to rest so he'd just hug him and kiss the boo-boo. His booboos always felt better when Mommy kissed them.
Jimmy kept his eye on his son as he through the soiled bed clothes in the washing machine. He hadn't intended for it to happen, but it did. It was sort of payback for Dana bringing that man here to recuperate. He really despised Walter Skinner, the man hovered over Dana, he couldn't even raise his voice to her in his presence. Now, while she was ill herself, she was bringing him here to be nursed by her after a heart attack.
Dana was only supposed to be gone a few days, then she's heard about Skinner's very well timed attack and stayed until he released. If she hadn't' begged his doctor to clear him for travel in ten days, she'd have stayed until he was well. She wouldn't do that for him though and he was her husband.
William heard a car pull up in front of the house and started jumping up and down. He ran to Jimmy as he came up from the basement, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Walter's here and Mommy too. Can I go outside Daddy? Can I? Can I? Can I?"
Jimmy couldn't help but laugh at William's excitement. He loved Walter Skinner like a second father. Part of Jimmy wondered sometimes if he wasn't Will's real father instead of the other man, Mulder. He'd be here to this time, to see his son and be with Dana as her last days approached.
"Well, I don't see why not?" Jimmy answered, "Just be careful of Uncle Walter, he's not well yet."
Walter had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the farm. When Scully saw the barn come into view she poked him gently.
"Walter. Come on we're here. Time to wake up now," she whispered.
He mumbled a bit and stirred. It was a marvel how tired he could get. "Where's my little guy?" he asked her.
"Here he comes now." She laughed while looking out of the window.
Skinner looked out to see William running in a direct path to the Jeep. Jimmy was on his heels and pulled him back so he stood on the porch. Kristen and Andrew were the first out, followed by Mulder who helped Skinner slide out and get his footing.
"Uncle Walter"! Will cried gleefully, his little feet flying over the gravel to reach his beloved Godfather.
"Hey, little...wait, no, big guy. Long time no see, huh?"
He stooped down to Will's level, expected to get bowled over by a bundle of energy. He was surprised when Will slowly slowed down and hugged his 'uncle' gently. Will quietly whispered "Don't worry uncle Walter, I'll kiss your boo boo better," and picked up his finger and kissed it.
"What kind do you have then Uncle Walter?" Will asked inquisitively.
Scully emerged from the Jeep and watched the exchange before her, Walter looked so perfect with a child, her heart ached that he hadn't had any children of his own.
"Well, Walter," explained, "mine is here," he pointed to his chest, "in my heart. You want to kiss that better, Buddy?"
Skinner was surprised when William's lower lip began to tremble and two tears squeaked out of the corners of his eyes.
"Hey hey. What's wrong?" Skinner asked, tousling the little boys hair, looking up at Scully and Jimmy.
"Daddy says...Daddy said if you get a boo-boo in the heart you goes to heaven. And if you goes to heaven you don't come back."
Skinner laughed. "No no. I'm gonna be fine Will. I just need to take some time off and rest. That's all." He hugged the child to his broad chest, but his words hadn't calm him yet.
The little boy shook his head furiously, "No, no, no. Grandma got a boo-boo there and she rested and she still went to heaven and she never got back, and I don't want you to not come back."
"I'm not going anywhere, Will," Skinner promised, patting the boys back.
Will started to cry harder convinced that his father's words were true for everyone with a sick heart and Scully moved forward and knelt in front of him. Jimmy was stepping forward as well, Will was his son and he should comfort him.
The rest of the adults stepped back and watched what was happening in front of them. Jimmy looked angry that Walter was trying to comfort William and Mulder stood a bit straighter, ready to get Skinner's back like any good field team in a jam.
Kristen reached her hand out and placed in restraint on Jimmy's arm, "Let them handle it, Jimmy," she told him.
Jimmy shrugged her arm off, knocking her back against her husband.
"Sorry," he apologized, and placed his hands in his pockets, grinding his teeth as he watched another man hold and comfort his child with his wife.
Scully had joined Skinner on the ground near William. Walter was holding the boy, rocking him, promising him that he wasn't going anywhere, that the doctors and his Mommy had taken good care of him and he was going to be fine.
"Listen sweetie, uncle Walter's gonna be fine," she crooned to him, rubbing his head as it was nestled against Walter's shirt.
"But Daddy said..."
"Daddy didn't mean it," she cooed as William's death grip on Walter let up.
"You see, William. I'm fine, no problem, huh? But am I tired, so what do you say we go inside?"
The child nodded and lifted his arms over his head hinting for his Uncle to pick him up. Walter knew in spite of his fatigue he had to carry to child inside to prove what he and Scully had said to be true. The others followed.
Supper was a quiet affair, William stayed attached to Skinner's side, while the other adults made small take and got to know each other better. Jimmy wore his resentment of Skinner and Mulder on his sleeve. The child seemed infatuated with his wife's former lover and it was common knowledge he was enamored with her former supervisior, his "Uncle" Walter.
Dana seemed to be angry with him, but she wasn't saying why. He knew it must have something to do with one of their houseguests, but for the time being she was keeping it to herself.
After supper, the ladies adjourned to wash the dishes, while Mulder suggested that he and William get to know each other a bit better and play a game of catch. Jimmy starts to protest, but Andrew shushed him and suggested they should make it a five way game. Jimmy nodded and proceeded to follow Mulder and his son outside. Walter thanked Andrew for the offer, but respectfully declined.
With Skinner tucked away in the parlor watching the evening news, and the other men outside playing ball Scully and Kristen washed the dishes. Kristen finally asked the question that had been nagging her the entire day, "When are you going to tell him, Dana?"
"He knows," Scully answered, knowing precisely what he friend was talking about, but dodging the subject just the same.
"Not about the cancer, Dana, about William. When are you going to tell Mr. Mulder that he's William's father?"
"Never if it can be avoided," she answered, "William is going to face a lot of changes in the next few months as the cancer gets worse and I don't want to give him anymore to deal with than absolutely necessary."
"Dana, he has the right to know. When...If something happens to you, the child has the right to know where he really comes from. I know that's what I'd want for my little one."
The wistful look on her friend's face was Scully's perfect opportunity to change the subject, "Thinking about kids finally, ah, Nurse Averleigh?"
"Andy is convincing me that kids are not such a bad idea for us. Could help things a lot."
Scully nodded in acknowledgement, and stared out the window to where the four way game of catch was taking place.
"How did he take it?" Kristen asked after a few moments of working in silence.
"How do who take it?"
"Mr. Mulder? Or Walter for that matter. How did they take the news about the cancer."
"Mulder was shocked, he was upset. I haven't told Walter. He was ill when I got to D.C. and I didn't want to make him worse."
Kristen sighed and put down her towel, "He has to know, Dana. You have so many secrets that need to be revealed. You need to tell Walter about the cancer and William, and you need to tell Mulder about his son."
"I know," Scully nodded to her friend, "I know."
Meanwhile out side, the baseball game had come to an end as the sun set over the hillside. Mulder slowly leant over feeling the strain of getting older and watched as the little boy ran to catch up with his father.
"William, did you water the pony?" Jimmy asked as he and the others started to walk toward the house.
"Nooooooooo" He said innocently.
"Well," Jimmy said with a raise of an eyebrow, "it think you better go on and do that before you take a bath."
"Awww daddy do I have to"? Will whined.
"Yes, you have to," Jimmy answered, "no go on."
"Okay daddy". Will sighed dejectedly while sloping inside shucking off his sneakers at the door
"You let him go out there a lone?" Mulder asked.
"Yeah, all the time. This isn't Washington, Mr. Mulder. Nothing's going to happen to him." Jimmy answered in a voice that dared him to challenge his authority over his son.
"I suppose so. In DC it's bad enough walking down the street when you're my age let alone a kid".
"I'll bet," said Andrew, "I was in D.C. once and it's pretty bad. More violent crimes are committed there than any other place in the country."
Mulder nodded and gave a short laugh.
Just then William came back out of the house and started for the barn. He saw Mr. Mulder watching him and asked shyly, studying his shoes, "Do you want to come Mister?"
"William, I don't think you should impose on Mr. Mulder, he's come a long way and Aunt Kristen and Uncle Andrew will be leaving soon." Jimmy really didn't want Will alone with Mulder.
"Sure. I'd love to come". Mulder followed the small boys retreating back into the dark stable.
"Go on," Andrew waved him on, "Kristen and I will wait until they're through."
Jimmy wasn't sure he like the idea, but he let the run off as he followed Andrew into the house.
The women had cleaned the rest of the dishes in silence each lost in her own thoughts. The men came into the kitchen, their noses sniffing out the freshly brewed coffee.
Jimmy came up behind Scully and wrapped his arms around her middle. "I hope you haven't been ignoring your house guest out there, he's sound asleep on the sofa."
"What? Oh Walter? Don't wake him. He needs his rest," Scully instructed placing her hands over his as she leaned into his hug.
"Yeah, I know, but he looks kind of uncomfortable out there. Perhaps he'd be more comfortable if he stayed with Kristen and Andy," Jimmy suggested, hoping she's say yes.
"Jimmy," she warned, pulling out of his hug.
"What? I thought he's be more comfortable, their place is bigger."
"No. He's our guest. He stays here. End of discussion," Scully said with finality.
Jimmy voice lowered to a whisper, "I'm just worried that it might be too much for you. You're having chemo in a few days and someone in his condition needs a lot of care," his voice was a whisper against her ear so that it wouldn't carry to the other in the room. The Averleighs were standing near the entrance to the kitchen, both waiting for one or the other to win the argument.
"I know that. But I'm fine. I feel fine. I'm perfectly well to take care of Walter," she smiled reassuringly at him and patted his hand.
"Now, yes, but what about after treatments. Dana, please think this through. You aren't being practical here. And your health is more import..." he trailed off all ready knowing the reaction he was going to get.
"Don't preach to me about health dammit. Don't you dare!" With that she pushed past the two Averleighs and went to the front porch and stared at the sunset.
Mulder watched as the little boy filled a pale with water and poured it into the horses trough. The animal was small for a horse being only a pony, but near to William it seemed enormous. All the while the child chattered on about the pony and how much he loved to ride it, but was only allowed to if his Mom or Dad were with him.
"How do you know my mommy mister"? Will asked out of the blue.
"Um, well," Mulder began, "we used to work together when she was in the FBI. We were partners. "That's also where she met your Uncle Walter. He's a good friend to both of us."
"The FBI"? Will asked incredulous
"Yeah, it stands for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We're like the cops for the whole country instead of just a city or county," Mulder explained still mesmerized that Scully had a son.
"Silly. I know that"! Will laughed.
Mulder moved forward and tousled the child's hair, "Then I guess that makes you a smart cookie, huh?"
Will giggled his response and then turned around and headed towards the house "Come on! I'll race ya"!
"There you are. You two getting on well then? You not being bad are you William?"
"Noo, Mommy," he said, shaking his head furiously and giggling.
Mulder walked up to the house briskly, out of breath, "You've got quite a boy there, Scully. Reminds me a whole lot of his Mama," Mulder smiled. Scully set William down and told him to go on inside for his bath, which he did obediently.
Just then Kristen and Andrew appeared on the porch, Andrew with the keys to the Jeep in his hand. "Well, Mr. Mulder, what do you say we shove off. Kristen has an early shift and we have a bit of a way until we get home."
"Yeah sure and thanks for letting me stay with you".
"Ah, no problem. Any time."
Mulder smiled and went over to Scully. "See ya". And gave her a brief peck on the cheek. "Oh and say bye to Will from me huh?
"I will, Mulder. Come by tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.
"Yeah, night Scully," he said with a wave over his shoulder.
Mulder and the Averleighs left and Scully went inside. She could hear Jimmy and William upstairs in the bathroom as he gave William his bad. Walter was still sleeping on the sofa but was beginning to toss. She walked over and gently tapped his shoulder. It would be best to send him up to bed and make him more comfortable.
"Walter," she whispered, shaking him lightly. "Come on, get up and get on to bed."
"I'll just stay down here," she answered, closing his eyes again as he felt the fatigue in his muscles. He was only a little over 50 yet he felt 100.
"No, you won't. You'll go upstairs and sleep in a warm soft bed. You are in no condition to sleep on this old sofa. Now, up with you."
She helped Skinner rise to his feet and together they climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom. She helped him get settled before heading off to bed herself.
"Dana," he called after her as she was leaving the room, "you don't have to keep me here you know. I don't want to be any trouble to you."
"Sssh," she hushed him, "you're no trouble. I'm glad to have you here and William's delighted. Now hush and get some rest. He'll run you ragged tomorrow I'm sure." With that and a quick smiled, she left to tuck her son in bed and get some sleep herself.
Jimmy had to rise early the following morning and head into town on some business. Skinner was still sleeping soundly, but William was awake in all his four year old glory. Scully sighed as she pulled herself from bed and started breakfast.
"Mommy, I'm thirsty," William whined as he sat and waited for his waffles to be ready.
"Ok, William, Mommy'll give you some juice, okay?"
William nodded, "Mommy when is Uncle Walter going to wake up?"
"I don't know, sweetie. He is very sick and needs his rest if he's going to get better."
"He said he's better," William reminded him as Scully poured a blue substance in his cup.
"Better than he was, but not all better. That's why he'd staying with us, so we can make him all better. There's you juice."
"It's blue, Mommy."
Blue. Scully couldn't think why the juice was blue, but she'd taken it from the cabinet so she figured it raspberry. More than likely Jimmy had bought it. It would be loaded with sugar, but she'd give him orange juice with breakfast.
"That's okay, Honey," she said, removing the waffle from the iron and cutting it into tiny pieces before going upstairs to check on her guest.
Mulder approached the door to the Faulkner house whistling and smiling. He's slept like a baby in the tranquility of the Oklahoma night. Now he was going to check on Scully and Skinner, see how they were getting on. He also wanted to spend more time with William, get to know him for there was something familiar in his mischievousness.
William was sitting on the chair in the kitchen drinking the odd tasting substance. He gasped when it was wretched out of his hand.
"Juice" He replied
"Mulder how'd you..."? Scully asked descending the stairs again after waking Skinner for breakfast.
"Scully what is that? It's sure as hell ain't no juice?" Mulder's tone was harsh as he questioned Scully.
Scully blinked confused and stared at Mulder. She looked around the kitchen but paused when William's said, "Mommy, I don't feel good."
"What's wrong sweetie"? She asked concerned.
"My tummy and throat, they hurt," he whined, starting toward her, but she met him half way.
She stopped in her tracks as she noticed the open bottle of Windex on the counter next to the sink. She looked at the bubbly blue substance in the glass and began to cry, realizing what she'd done.
"I... I..." Lost for words she pointed at the bottle on the side of the counter.
William was beginning to cry too, saying over and over again that his stomach hurt.
Mulder's eyes followed Scully's fingers and they fell upon the Windex bottle. "Oh, dear God," he gasped.
Mulder ran for the phone and dialed 911 explaining that a four year old had just ingested approximately four ounces of Windex. After being assured an ambulance was on his way he went to comfort the little boy who had begun to lose consciousness. Scully stood against the refrigerator crying as Mulder knelt on the floor and gathered the small boy into his arms.
The ambulance arrived quickly and loaded, Scully, Mulder, and William in the back. The medic asked how it happened and Mulder couldn't answer. He didn't want to believe that Scully could be so careless as to endanger her son, yet she'd all but admitted she gave him that poison.
The staff whisked William away and she kept mumbling into his shirt. A nurse approached to ask Scully to sign some consent forms. She was too distraught to think clearly, so Mulder took that papers from the nurse.
"Are you a relative, Sir?" she asked.
"Um, yeah," he said noncommittally.
"What is you relation to the child? I know you aren't his father, I know his father," the nurse said.
"I'm his God parent. He's my godson". Mulder nodded sincerely.
The nurse sighed, "All right. We need to know the child's blood type and we need you to sign a consent form for us to pump his stomach."
"Sure". Mulder grabbed the pen and whispered to Scully, "What's his blood type?"
"O positive," she told him.
O positive, O positive, that was his blood type. Hmm, maybe Jimmy had the same one.
Hey, that's my blood type," he said brightly to Scully, trying to lighten the mood. Her face crumbled again and she began to cry even harder, mumbling to herself, "Chip off the old block."
"What?"
"Nothing, it's nothing. I suppose one of us should call Jimmy," she murmured rising.
"Yeah. Do you want me to?" he asked, standing after her.
"No, Mulder, I better do it. Oh, God, Mulder what have I done?"
"It wasn't your fault," Mulder crooned, holding her.
"It was. I didn't know what I was doing. I though I was giving him his juice. I could have killed him, Mulder. Our little boy could have died if you hadn't save him. Mulder, I could have killed our son."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Fight or Flight 11/?
Mulder pulled Scully close to his chest and began to rock her. The poor thing was so confused. She believed him to be William's father.
"No, Scully. No, you didn't. You didn't almost kill him and, Scully, Dana," he said softly, pulling back, "He's not my son."
Scully sobbed once, drew in a deep breath and nodded silently.
"Scully, what is it? I don't understand. Tell me," he begged, knowing she was trying to tell him something, but failing to see what.
"Try now, try and think. I know you're confused, but try to focus. All right, Scully?"
"Oh for gods sakes Mulder how can you be so dense"? She cried. "Do I have to spell it out for you! Will is your son"!
"Scully, you're not thinking straight. Will isn't my son, Honey, he's Jimmy's son." Mulder pulled her away from him and stared in to her red, swollen eyes, shaking her shoulders as he said the words.
"No, he's not!" she cried, "I mean come on Mulder, work it out. The dates fit you know. Put two and two together. Will is your son!"
Mulder took a deep breath and started to computate in his head. William was nearly four, they'd made love nearly four and a half years ago, nine months of gestation. "Oh, God," he gasped, his knees growing weak, "Oh, God."
They both sat in silence until the doctor reappeared with the results on how Will was doing, "Mr. and Mrs. Faulkner?" the doctor asked.
"No were not," they both interrupted, "married". Mulder finished.
"Sorry, my mistake. I'd like to speak to whichever one of you is the child's parent."
"I am," Scully piped up.
"We both are," Mulder chimed in and rose with Scully.
"Whatever," the doctor mumbled, "come this way. We want to keep your son overnight just to make sure there are no complications, but so far everything looks great. He had a close call, but he's going to be fine."
"Oh, thank God," Scully breathed a sigh of relief, "I better go call Jimmy."
"You do that," said Mulder with a tinge of bitterness in his voice, "I want to go see my son."
Scully walked down the corridor and wordlessly punched in the number on the pay phone. After three rings, he picked up.
"Faulkner," he said into the phone.
"Jimmy, it's me," she said.
"Hey, sweetie. This is a nice surprise in the middle of the day," he said smiling into the phone. In spite of everything, he still loved her.
"Jimmy I need you to come down to the hospital" She said almost in a monotone voice.
"Dana, what is it? Are you sick? Did something happen with the cancer? Tell me, Honey. Is it Walter? Did he get worse?" Jimmy was frantic. Is she was getting sicker all ready? He prayed not. He really didn't care if Walter Skinner was worse or not, but if he was it, would hurt Dana.
"No no it's... It's Will. He uh, had a little accident," she said slowly, her voice catching.
"Will? What happened? He fell off the pony didn't he?"
"No, uh he just drank some um what was it? Oh yeah window cleaner. But he, he's fine now."
"Window cleaner? Dana, how did he drink window cleaner? Why weren't you with him?" Jimmy demanded angrily.
"I uh. I don't know what I was doing I... Oh god they're gonna take him away from me I know it" She broke down again.
"Dana, no one is going to do anything to William. Listen, sweetheart, I'm going to hang up and I'm on my way there. Is anyone with you? Kristen or Walter?"
She took in a deep breath as usual and whispered "No uh, Fox is here with me"
"I don't want him with you. You call one of the others to come, do you hear?"
"I'll call Walter," she conceded.
"Honey, not that I care, but if you and Fox are at the hospital, who's at home with Walter?"
"Uh I... No one," she replied.
"Isn't the point of his invading our house that he isn't alone?" he prompted, knowing she forgot about he friend.
"I... I... I don't know. Like I said, I'll call him."
"All right, Dana. Do it now. I'm leaving."
"Okay," she agreed. Scully replaced the receiver and put in more change. The phone rang four times before Skinner answered.
"Faulkner residence," he answered, his voice tired.
"Hey, Walter. Why are you still asleep? It's past noon."
"I've had a heart attack, Dana. I'm tired. Where are you? Why didn't you or William wake me?" he asked, his stomach knotting.
"Walter, Will's been in an accident. He drank some window cleaner. He's going to be fine. I just want you here," her voice started to crack.
"Dana, I don't see how I can. I really...all right. Can you get someone to drive me?"
"I'll get Andrew. Jimmy and I want you here."
"Did you call Fox?" he asked, after a moment.
"Yes, he's here. Oh, Walter, he knows," she whispered.
"I'll do what I can to get there Dana," he promised
"No, I'm sorry, you're still sick you should rest," she said tenderly. "Please, I can't worry about you too."
"All right, Dana," he said, sinking back into his pillows, "Call me if there is a change. Please, it's not good for an old man's heart to fret. Dana? How did this happen?" he asked after a moment.
"My carelessness, Walter. I nearly killed my son," with that she hung up, leaving Skinner to contemplate all she had just revealed.
Meanwhile, Mulder was sitting beside William's bed, talking softly to the boy.
"Mr. Mulder, why did Mommy give me the bad juice?" he asked innocently.
Mulder wrung his hands, "Um, Mommy wasn't thinking, son, she was upset about Uncle Walter and it looked like something she'd give you to drink. She's really sorry, buddy."
"Then where is she?" he pouted, shifting in the bed.
"She went to call Daddy, little man. She'll be in in a while," he promised, "now why don't you lie down and get some sleep."
"I'm not sleepy" Will declared.
"You're not? Well, why not. I bed you are very sleepy. Why don't you come and sit on my lap?
"No, I'm okay". Will stated. After pausing for a few seconds he said, "will you tell me a story Mr. Mulder"?
"Sure," Mulder said, "once upon a time, in land very far away live a gorgeous princess named Princess Sally."
"That's not a story," William whined.
"Oh, it will be. Just listen."
"Have you ever told stories before?" William asked doubtfully.
"Yeah, William. I did. Once to my sister and once to your mommy."
"Really"? He yawned.
"Yes, You see, you are sleepy."
"No, I'm not". He mumbled
"How about a song instead?" Mulder suggested
"Okay" Will turned onto his side and faced Mulder.
"Once when I had a big boo-boo your Mommy sang this song to me. Ready"? Will nodded. "Okay, here it goes."
Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Was a good friend of mine
Never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
Yes he always had some mighty fine wineSinging joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and meIf I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
Throw away the cars and bars and wars
And make sweet love to you
Yes I'd make sweet love to youBy the time he finished singing the second verse, the small boy was fast asleep in the bed. Mulder leaned over him and placed a kiss on his head. "I love you, son."
Meanwhile Scully slowly turned round the corner and peeked into the room resting her drained body on the door frame. A small tired smile adorned her face, "God I can't believe you sung that song to him". Scully whispered after noticing her son was fast asleep in the bed.
"It's a great song and it beats stories," he said.
"Yeah," They both just sat there in comfortable silence.
"Um, Scully," he said after a while, "I think I'll get a cup of coffee. Are you all right with him?"
"Yes," she snapped, then let out a sight, "I'm fine with him. He's my son."
Jimmy ran through the ER doors and came to a halt next to the receptionist station. "Excuse me"? Jimmy asked, but the nurse carried on talking to a co worker on the phone while filing her nails; it was a quiet night in the ER department. She held up one perfectly manicured finger in the international symbol of 'hold on a moment please.' Jimmy frustrated, reached over and pulled the phone cable out of the socket and said again, "excuse me".
"How can I help you sir"? The receptionist asked while loudly snapping her gum.
"A small boy was admitted about an hour ago. He's my son. Can you tell me what room he's in please"?
"And his name is"?
"William Faulkner. Faulkner spelled F-A-U-L-K-N-E-R"
"Ah yes. The boy who was poisoned by his mother. He's in room 225. It's on the 4th floor".
"What do you mean the boy who was poisoned by his mother"? Jimmy asked incredulous. "How dare you make accusations like that. I've a good mind to talk to your superior". Disgusted by this women, he walked over the the elevator and pressed the button for the 4th floor. Once the doors had opened, he walked down the corridor, and came to a halt outside his sons hospital room "Dana"?
Scully looked up upon hearing her name and smiled when she saw who it was.
Mulder realising it was him cue to heave, stood up and sloped into the hallway not eager to watch the little family moment.
Jimmy kissed he hair and rocked her. She spoke, "Jimmy, I'm..."
"Ssh," he told her, "don't apologise. It's all right. He's going to be fine, sweetie. Now, what's Fox doing here."
"He came with me. I wasn't really you know 'with it' so he helped me and signed all the papers," she said.
"You should have called me right away, as soon as it happened. I don't want him around my son!" he said with conviction.
"Jimmy please, you'll wake William," she whispered.
"Mommy, Mommy," William called in his sleep, but did not fully wake. Scully moved to sit beside him, pulling his small body into her lap
"Dana, I'm going to get a cup of coffee. Want anything?" asked Jimmy.
Mulder was sitting right outside the door, his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard Jimmy exit the room.
"Hey," said Mulder, "how's he doing?"
"He had a bit of a dream, I'm thinking. Started yelling for Dana. She's with he now. Hey listen, thank you for taking care of them."
"No, problem," Mulder murmured.
"Dana's health, it's so fragile these days," Jimmy said with a hint of wistfulness.
"Yeah. Takes me back. Painful memories," Mulder said in much the same way.
"How so?" Jimmy asked.
"When we worked together she was diagnosed with a tumour. It was a bad time for both of us," Mulder said.
"Was it like this? Was she confused like this?" Jimmy asked, "Did it hurt her?"
"To be honest I really don't know. She uh, she shut herself away a lot. Didn't really talk to me. We'd uh, had a falling out of sorts a few weeks before and were I don't know, edging around each other."
"I see," Jimmy murmured, "can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Mulder nodded.
"Did you ever love my wife?" he asked.
"Yes," he said flatly, "as a friend, as a sort of sister, she was like family to me you know? Hell maybe even I could class her as my somewhat soul mate. "But things happen that you can't control. And when you wake up the next day, everything's different."
"But did you love her like a woman?" Jimmy asked.
"Yes, I did," he whispered.
"Do you still?" he asked.
Mulder mearly shrugged not saying anything as he felt that he couldn't really trust the man who stood before him.
"Well?" Jimmy prodded, "whether you do or don't, she doesn't need the crowds or the extra stress. I'd like you to leave. Go back to Kristen and Andrew's and we'll call you."
"Well, technically I have more of a right to stay than you do," Mulder said.
"How do you figure? You were never in this child's life before a few days ago. Now he may not have my DNA, but he is still my son and Dana is still my wife and I want you to go."
"Fine, fine, I'm going," Mulder grumbled.
"Mr. Faulkner, which one of you is Mr. Faulkner?" a heavy set woman asked, approaching the room
"I am" Jimmy raised his arm
"I'm Carol Miller with Children and Family Services. I'd like to speak with you about the situation this morning," she said kindly.
"I don't really think that this visit is necessary now do you?" Jimmy asked, protectively.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but we have to talk to the parent's of a child involved in any household accident within twenty four hours. Now, were you at home when the incident occurred?" She explained.
"No, I was at work," he answered.
"So your wife was alone with the child?" she asked.
"Yes, but her friend Walter Skinner was upstairs, he's recovering from a heart attack," Jimmy told her.
"Oh, is he here? Can I talk to him? I need to speak with those people who were at home at the time of the child's accident."
"Sure, my home number's 1-918-756-5439," Jimmy said writing it down on a card.
"I'll speak to him later. Now, I'd like to speak with Mrs. Faulkner," she told him
"My wife's in no state of mind to talk to anyone at the moment. She's distraught at what's happened"
"I realise that, but I must speak with her or I will immediately recommend the minor child be removed from your care."
"You can't do that"! Mulder interjected
"I won't have to if Mr.Faulker will let me speak to his wife," she said.
Jimmy, feeling cornered, waved his consent and then followed behind her promptly shutting the door in Mulders face. Mulder sighed and sat back down, banging his head hard against the wall.
Scully was sitting on William's bed, her hand up to her nose, dabbing at the blood there. Her colour had gone pale and Jimmy noticed her hand was shaking.
"Dana? Are you okay"?
"Jimmy?" she asked, a bit confused. "I don't know. My noses just started bleeding," she whispered, her voice choking up.
Jimmy tried to remain calm for Dana's sake. "Hold on, let me get some tissues," he told her.
He grabbed some tissues from the side table and set his arm around her shoulders, forgetting able the social worker in the room. Scully was starting to cry hysterically until she was almost unable to breath. The social worker made a note on her pad and quietly left the room.
"What's happening Jimmy? Why is this happening"? She sobbed
"Ssh, my love. Stop crying and try to take a breath. Are you in any pain?" he asked, knowing the answer all ready. The blood continued to flow from her nose like a water pump in an old farm field. He held her a bit tighter.
After a few moments, the blood clotted and stopped. She sighed as she tried to stop her crying, "Dana? I asked you a question, you didn't answer me. Are you in any pain?"
"No, I'm not in pain. It's just, I feel dizzy. And nauseous. It may have been the chemo yesterday, but I've never heard of side effects hitting you the next day, but I guess sometimes they must do," she said plastering a fake smile onto her face. Suddenly feeling drowsy, she quietly told Jimmy "I want to go home."
"Are they letting William home?" he asked.
"I don't know. Why don't you go ask them" She mumbled angrily, while flitting around the room picking up her coat and handbag.
"all right, all right, I was only asking....
"Where's Mulder gone"? She suddenly said
I think he left, said Jimmy, helping her on with her coat and reaching for the door.
Mulder was outside the room, sitting with Mrs. Miller giving her his account of what had happened that morning.
"And then what happened?" she asked.
"I saw William drinking this strangely coloured drink and then he said he didn't feel well." Mulder said cryptically.
"And how did he come by this 'drink'?" she asked with suspicion.
Um, I don't...you know how kids are," he said noncommittally.
"No, I don't, Mr..." she asked.
"Mulder, Fox Mulder. Turn your back on second and they're into something or other. Scully just went on upstairs to see about Walter and next thing you know..." Mulder lied.
The women slowly nodded. "Well, thankyou Mr. Mulder, I'll be in touch."
Mulder breathed a sigh of relief as the woman left just in time for him to see Jimmy practically carrying Scully from Will's room.
"Hey, is she okay?" Mulder asked worriedly.
"She had a bit of a nosebleed. She's dizzy and tired. How are you feeling now, Dana?" he asked tenderly.
"Huh?" she asked completely dazed.
"I asked how you were feeling?" Jimmy repeated.
"I'm fine," she mumbled, shaking her head to clear it and letting out a little moan.
"What? Scully, come on, it's just us, tell us," Mulder prompted, reaching out a hand to touch her face.
"Woah. Pretty bad" she murmured.
Jimmy and Mulder exchanged looks, then Mulder turned and headed to the nurses station. Jimmy held Scully closer and kissed her hair, "How bad is pretty bad, Dana, be specific. On a scale of one to ten."
"Uhhh, eleven," she moaned.
"All right, my love. All right. Here sit down," he gently lowered her to the floor. "Fox has gone to get a doctor."
By that time the next day Scully was regretting Mulder fetching that doctor. Now she was ordered to stay in bed until he appointment on Wednesday. He'd give her a strong painkiller, but if she took it, it barely worked and made her dopey.
Walter spent a good part of the day taking care of her, while Jimmy and Mulder were at the hospital with William. He'd be allowed to come home today, she couldn't wait. She had to apologise to him.
"Here, you go," Skinner smiled, entering the room "Nice warm cup of tea, guaranteed to cure what ails you. By the way, do you know a Carol Miller?"
"Huh?" she asked.
"A woman by the name of Carol Miller? She wanted to come by and speak to us about William," he told her, sitting down on the bed beside her, "Dana, what's wrong? What made you so sick?"
"Oh, Walter..." she sighed.
"What?" he prodded, stretching and sipping his own tea.
"I feel as if my life's coming to a standstill. Yet again"
"I don't understand," he whispered, "why?"
"A uh few months ago, I went for my yearly MRI scan. You know completely routine. And uh, they found a shadow. I waited a week and then was told that the remission was over" She sighed heavily again, "my whole life is falling apart and I can't do anything about it!"
Skinner went pale and nearly spilled the hot tea all over her. He set the cup down and reached for her, pulling her into his arms, hugging her tightly, "Dana, how long have you known? And why didn't you tell me? And what's the prognosis?"
She laughed at that. "Depends what angle you look at it."
"I want the truth. I want truthful answers to all three questions," he ordered, still holding her, "Now, you've known?"
"Okay number 1, I've known for about 4 months now. 2, I didn't tell you because you were so unwell Walter. I didn't want to trouble you. And 3, the prognosis, as of yesterday, not good."
"One, I wasn't unwell two months ago, I should have been told then. Two, I'm never sick enough not to be told about something affecting you. Three, what does not good mean?"
"What it means is that my chance of recovery is slowly running out," she said frankly.
If it were possible, Skinner held her even tighter, rocking her for a moment then he asked, "Are you...are you dying?"
She repeated the same words she'd used on Jimmy weeks earlier, "not today".
"Oh, sweet Jesus," he whispered, pulling back looking at her face, "I don't know what to say. Does Fox know? Jimmy or William?"
"Well, Jimmy knows, Mulser knows but I still have to tell William," she said wistfully.
"If it's not considered an imposition, I'd like to be there when you tell him," he told her, rising from the bed where she lay, her throat sore with the need to cry.
"Sure," she answered with a smile.
"Good," he nodded firmly, "now who is this Carol Miller that's coming very soon to discuss William?"
I honestly don't know. Is she downstairs"?
"No, but she'll be here in an hour to speak to us both. I just said that."
"Oh, did you"?
"Yeah. Dana, as you get, you know, sicker, what will it be like?" he asked.
"What do you mean"? She asked not understanding.
"I mean, what will it be like as your cancer gets worse. Symptoms, I just want to know," he told her.
"Oh, painful headaches, loss of memory, seizures, nosebleeds, Then loss of motor functions and then the inevitable."
"Oh Christ. It won't be easy on you will it? Who's going to take care of you?" he asked dumbly.
"I haven't thought that much ahead," she admitted.
"Dana, you have too. These things, listen, my mother God rest her, died of brain cancer, she had no warning before things got bad. You need to know. Is Jimmy capable?"
"Yeah, he's great.
"But can he handle it, I mean. Not everyone can?"
"I know, i know" She broke off when she heard the pleasant tring of the doorbell
"That must be Ms. Miller. I'll get it. You lie here and rest."
"Okay," she whispered, then "Walter?"
"Yes, Dana?" he asked, stopping.
"Don't push yourself," she told him.
"Push myself?" he asked confused.
"Go answer the door Walter" She smiled
"Dana, I'll take care I promise," he told her, before heading down the stairs.
Fight or Fight 12/?A few minutes later Scully, Skinner, and Mrs. Miller were sitting in the living room. Scully nervously fiddle with her wedding ring while the social worker questioned Skinner as to his whereabouts during the incident and his relationship to Mrs. Faulkner. He lied, naturally, saying he'd called for Scully and that she had come to his aid. The next thing he'd known, Mulder had arrived and was telling Scully something was wrong with William. The rest was history.
"Mrs. Faulkner, what I don't understand is why you left a four year old in the kitchen, unattended, with an open bottle of window cleaner within his reach?" she questioned, her eyebrows raised.
"I guess I wasn't thinking," Scully mumbled in answer,
"No," responded Mrs. Miller, "you were not thinking. Now given what I've heard from you, Mr. Skinner, and Mr. Mulder, your priority is not your child is it? You left your child alone to go and tend a fully grown adult, perfectly capable of tending to his own needs while you made sure that window cleaner was sealed and safely stored in a child proof cabinet, didn't you?
"According to your own husband, on several occasions you've left William alone in the bathtub to answer the telephone or the door bell and were gone sometimes for more than a few minutes. Does this sound like the kind of care a young child of no more than four should be receiving, Mrs. Faulkner?
"Further, it appears Mr. Faulkner is more concerned with your welfare and the welfare of his business that with being home to ensure William is receiving proper care. Unless you can offer me some explanation, a very good reason why I should not request a hearing to determine whether or not you and your husband are fit to take care of William, I am going to do just that."
Mrs. Miller sniffed as she finished her assault and Scully at a loss and suddenly confused, not understanding, began to cry. Over and over again she sobbed into Skinner's shirt once he'd reached for her, "I didn't know. I didn't know."
He addressed Mrs. Miller, "It is obvious that Mrs. Faulkner is unable to continue with this interview today. If you'd like to schedule a visitation to see how she interacts with William, please call and let us know.
"Mrs. Faulkner's health is not the best and you've cause her enough upset all ready. Threatening to take her child from her, you should be ashamed of yourself. Now leave this premises and take the recommendation with you. When you are ready to conduct a proper child endangerment investigation let us know and we'll cooperate fully."
Mrs. Miller left and practically bowled Jimmy, William, and Mulder down on the way out. Skinner had lifted Scully from her seat and stood holding her, rocking her gently. William was upset by his mother's tears and went to hold her leg, "I'm sorry, Mommy, I won't be bad again, I promise," he mumbled, "just don't cry, please."
The child was ignored for the moment by the men in the room. Mulder took in Scully's condition and his son's distress, "Jimmy, Walter, I think the three of us need to talk."
Scully took the small child in her arms and held him close, "I know, Baby. Don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong and Mommy's not crying anymore. See?"
William nodded. Meanwhile, Skinner ignored Mulder and spoke to Scully.
"Dana, I think you should lie down now. You've been too excited today as it is," Skinner suggested.
Jimmy didn't take kindly to this suggestion at all, "Well, I think," he spoke up, "that she needs to be part of this conversation Mr. Mulder wants us to have."
Scully smiled softly at Walter, "Jimmy's right. I want to hear this. It's my son you're talking about, isn't it?"
"I don't think Mulder wants to talk about William, Dana," Jimmy told her softly, "I think he wants to talk about you."
"Me?" she asked confused, "Why are we discussing me? There's nothing to discuss."
Jimmy shrugged, "Why don't you ask, Mulder that question. He's the one who wanted to exclude you, not me," he said defensively, shoving his hands in his pockets.
She shook her head, "Mulder, this is pointless."
Skinner held up his hands for their attention, "What we need to discuss is what we are going to do about Mrs. Miller. She was hear earlier today and she practically threatened to take William out of the home unless we can convince her he's getting proper care here. If we don't, she's going to recommend he be removed."
"Can she do that?" Mulder asked, in disbelief.
Skinner shook his head, "She can't. But her recommendation will carry a lot of weight with the judge and he can do that."
"Why would she want to do that?" asked Jimmy angrily, "She doesn't know Dana is ill."
"No, she doesn't," Skinner agreed, "but the fact remains she doesn't think Dana is caring properly for William and she doesn't think you are home long enough to ensure that she is. The fact is William did drink poison, whether by accident or not, he should have been watched. That's what it looks like to family services."
Jimmy stamped his foot and let out a disgusted sigh, "Well, that fat bitch isn't going to get my kid. I'll see to it!" he demanded as he turned and stormed out of the room.
Scully sighed and called after him, "Jimmy..." but Skinner interrupted, "Let him go. He needs time to process all of this."
Mulder spoke next, trying to bring the discussion to a point where it would be productive. They needed a course of action and he, for one, was at a loss. "So...what are we going to do now?"
"The first thing we're going to do is make sure when Mrs. Miller gets back, she sees a happy healthy little boy," Skinner advised. This was his area of expertise, tactical defense.
"But what are we going to do about the courts?" Mulder asked, realizing that Skinner was the right source to tap. His friend's law background would come in handy here, he would, this time, defer to his judgment.
"Well, we consult an Oklahoma State attorney. I went to law school but I'm not a member of the Oklahoma bar. Now, Dana, think, do you know any lawyers in town?" Skinner asked falling into full AD mode.
"Um, I think, yes, Andrew is a lawyer. He specializes in...in...I can't remember," she said dejectedly.
Skinner smiled sympathetically, "Doesn't matter. He'll know who we can contact for help if he can't handle the case himself."
"Yeah," Scully nodded, but Skinner was continuing, "Next, we have to make sure our stories are straight. No holes, no gaps."
"Yeah," said Mulder, shuffling his feet, "That's fine, but..."
Skinner held his hand up again to halt Mulder mid sentence, "But nothing. There's nothing else to do. Scully is not going to lose her child, not on my watch."
Mulder smiled, "Yeah, you're right, Walter."
Skinner knew Mulder to well and he knew that behind that smile of confidence there was something hidden, "You're holding something back, Fox. Out with it."
Mulder's face fell and he nearly whispered, "What if we can't win?"
Skinner squared his shoulders, standing to his full height, "There's no such word as can't," he said flatly, laying his hand on the table, with a climatic thud. And then Mulder laughed.
Scully tried to follow the conversation but the freight train in her head would not allow it. She felt nauseous and dizzy. She tried to get Skinner's or Mulder's attention, but neither noticed until she fell to her knees and began rocking back and forth, mumbling to herself, "Sorry, didn't mean it. I didn't mean it," she cried with sorrow for a minute, then a new emotion assailed her and she angrily growled to herself, "You really fucked up this time, Dana. You really did it, gonna lose your kid, deserve to too."
Skinner noticed first and fell to his knees beside her. Mulder quickly followed suit, both men wrapping their arms around her as she continued to whisper to herself.
Scully didn't recognize the arms that held her as those of friends. To her they were the arms of dark and faceless memories. She squirmed when they first held her, but as their grips tightened and refused to let up, she exploded with hands and feet, kicking and punching at them, trying to break free. She was screaming in disjointed phrases, "Leave me alone! Go away, don't touch me! Don't touch!"
The two men stopped wrestling with Scully surprised at her strength and afraid they'd hurt her. Finally she stopped screaming and began crying out, "I'm so scared. I'm scared. Someone please help me! Someone hold me, please hold me."
Mulder crossed the floor quickly and gently, as if she were made of glass, gathered her into his arms. She didn't look at him, she just buried her face in his chest and sobbed. He spoke softly to her, murmuring, "It's okay, Scully. No, one's going to hurt you. It's okay."
Meanwhile, Skinner heard a small whimper coming from Will's bedroom at the top of the steps. He left Mulder to calm Scully and climbed up to tend to his godson.
The child was sitting on the bed, his small hands in fist as he stair wide eyes at the door. He looked up at Skinner with questioning eyes, "Uncle Walter?"
"What's the matter, little guy?" he asked crossing to the bed and sitting down, "Did you hear what happened downstairs?"
William nodded his head slowly, "Why was mommy screaming like that?"
Skinner sighed, "William, Mommy isn't feeling very well right now and she took a nap."
William shook his head, "No, she sounded really angry and so did Daddy. He yelled and then he drove away and didn't even say bye-bye." He began to sob again.
Skinner ignored William's comment about Jimmy, he had the two events mixed in his young mind, "You know how sometimes when you sleep you have a bad dream and you go to mommy and daddy's room?"
"Yes," Will answered, not sure what his uncle was saying.
"Well, that's what happened to Mommy. She had a bad dream while she was taking her nap," he told him, reaching to take him in his lap. He could tell the child was not reassured.
The was a measurable silence in the room, the William spoke against Walter's chest, "Mommy isn't well, is she?"
Skinner's brows shot up, and he asked, trying to play dumb, "What do you mean by that, partner?"
He didn't want to deal with this now. This was not his place, to tell William of his mother's impending death. He shouldn't have to do this, this was Scully's job. He couldn't tell him, yet he couldn't lie to him either, "Did Daddy tell you that?"
"Yes," William nodded his head for emphasis.
"When did he do that?" Skinner asked.
"A couple of days ago. Mommy wasn't well in the bathroom and he told me," William answered.
"What exactly did he say to you?" Skinner asked, "Every word you remember."
"Mommy's going to be sick for a long time, but the doctor's going to make her better," William supplied, his brows knitting together.
Skinner nodded, "That's it? Anything else?"
"Nooo," William answered, shaking his head.
Skinner shifted his position and held the little boy closer to him, "William, do you have anything you want to ask me? About Mommy being sick, does anything confuse you?"
William pulled back from his chest a bit and looked up into his eyes, "Why is she sick? Is she going to get made better?"
Skinner cleared her throat, "Well, I don't know why she's sick, Buddy. She was sick like this when she worked for me in Washington DC and she got better that time.
"What wrong with her?" he asked innocently.
"She has cancer, do you know what that is?" Skinner asked gently.
"No," he replied, "is it bad?"
"Yes, Buddy. It is very, very bad," he answered, solemnly.
"How bad?"
This was hard on him, on both of them, but Skinner felt she owed it to him to tell him the truth. "Well, sometimes it hurts, kind of and sometimes you get tired a lot and you aren't real strong. Then the doctor give you medicine and the medicine makes you feel sick in your belly, or it makes you sleepy or sometimes your hair falls out. Sometimes the medicine works and you get all better and sometimes, Buddy, the medicine doesn't work and you go and live with the angels."
That was the best way he could think of to explain it to him. The child stared at him with wide, watery eyes, "Is Mommy going to die, Uncle Walter?" He whispered the question.
"I don't know," he answered truthfully, "that's up to God. I have an idea, why don't we kneel down her and ask God not to take Mommy up to him. Want to do that?"
William shook his head, "No, I want to go out and see my pony. Come see my pony with me?"
Skinner smiled doubtfully, "It's getting dark and it's almost bedtime," he argued.
"Please," he said again, his lower lip beginning to tremble.
Skinner gave in and nodded, "Okay only for a few minutes, then it's back in the house and into bed, understand?"
William nodded vigorously as he took Walter by the hand and led him down the back steps out to the stables.
Scully had stopped crying after a while of being held and looked up at Mulder a bit confused. "What's happening to me?" she asked.
"The tumor must be growing, Scully. You need to call your doctor and schedule an MRI," he told her as he continued to hold her.
"I just feel like I'm not here anymore," she whispered in a small frightened voice. This was not the Scully that he knew, Mulder thought as he held her tighter.
"I know. But I'm here and Skinner and we're going to help you get through this. Now you need to get some rest. Does anything hurt?"
She shook her head.
"Are you sure? Your head doesn't hurt at all?" he asked again.
"No, Mulder, I just said that," she said, unsure if she really did just say that or not.
"Okay," he smiled, "just checking. Can you make it upstairs by yourself or do you need help?"
"I'm fine on my own," she told him, rising from the floor unassisted.
"All right," he responded, "I'm going to go now. Kristen and Andrew are probably wondering what happened to me."
"You going to be all right getting home?" she asked trying to focus on him and her thoughts.
"Yeah, I know the way. You sure you're all right alone, Jimmy isn't home yet and Skinner's not so well himself yet."
"I'm fine, now go," she waved at the door to direct him.
Mulder leaned over quickly and kissed her cheek, "Goodnight, Scully."
"Night," she mumbled as he left.
Scully was still sitting up when Skinner and a sleepy William returned from the stables. She didn't seem to notice them, just smiled when Skinner and William told her goodnight. When they were almost out of the parlor she spoke, "Walter, can you put him to bed for me please?"
"Of course," he answered, taking William upstairs and tucking him.
Before Skinner left the room William asked him one final question, the most heartbreaking of all, "Uncle Walter, is that big lady going to take me away from my Mommy?"
Skinner stopped in his tracks, shaking his head, "Listen William, very carefully to Uncle Walter, all right?" he asked returning to the bed and sitting on it, "Mrs. Miller thinks because Mommy gets confused sometimes because she is sick, she isn't taking good care of you and she believes it would be better if you went to live with someone else who could take better care of you."
William opened his mouth to speak, but Walter hushed him and continued, "That isn't up to Mrs. Miller though, that is up to a judge in a court. Now, Uncle Fox, Uncle Andrew, and I are going to work very hard to make sure you get to stay with your Mommy. What you can do is try and keep after yourself as best you can, pick up your toys, remember to walk the puppy and brush the pony, okay? That way Mommy won't have to remember as much and she won't forget as often."
William smiled and nodded to his Uncle Walter. He was right. If he proved her could take care of himself they'd let him stay with his Mommy and Daddy. If he could show them that he could make it on his own...that's it, he thought, make it on his own.
William waited until he was sure he'd heard Walter go to bed, then he quietly got up and dressed himself in mismatched jeans and a tee-shirt. Taking his pillow, blanket, his faithful dog, Reggie, and one banana from the kitchen, he then crept past Scully, out the front door, and onto the road.
Scully had never gone to sleep that night. She' d sat up all night in the same position Mulder had left her in the night before. About 8 o'clock the next morning, Mulder had the urge to go check on Scully. She hadn't seemed right to him when he'd left and he wanted to double check things and make sure everything was working out okay. He drove the short distance from Averleigh home to the Faulkner one not wanting to lose any precious time. When he arrived he was astonished to say the least to see the front door wide opened and the screen door slapping in the wind. Mulder rushed inside to find Scully, dressed, sitting on the couch staring blankly. He stood directly in front of her, but she didn't notice him.
"Scully!" he spoke her name. She didn't answer him, so he tried again, louder, "Scully!"
Scully suddenly jerked back to consciousness and looked up startled. "Mul...didn't I send you home?" she asked bewildered.
"Yeah, I went home. It's 7:48 in the morning," he said showing her his watch.
"Oh, God! I must have sat here all night, no wonder I'm so stiff," she mused stretching.
"What do you mean you sat here all night?" Mulder asked.
"I don't remember going to bed or taking a shower. Walter put William to bed for me, I do remember that," she told him, assuming Will to be his main concern.
"Oh," he sighed and let it go.
"Speaking of William," Scully said as she started for the kitchen to make coffee, "I wonder why isn't up by now. He's usually the early bird in the house."
Mulder smiled and asked with a hint of excitement as he bounced on the balls of his feet, "You want me to go see if he's awake?"
Scully nodded, "Yeah, why don't you do that while I start breakfast."
Mulder padded up the stairs and walked along the corridor. He tried not to hurry and make too much noise, yet he was excited about getting to see his son first thing in the morning. He opened the door to William's room and gasped when he found the bed empty without it's blanket or pillow. His eyes scanned the room for the discarded bedding or the small child. Finding neither, he moved inside to check the closet, perhaps he'd taken his bed things and hidden in the small space. He checked all the corners thoroughly, no William.He didn't panic, not yet. Perhaps he'd had a bad dream and gone to sleep in Skinner's room. He opened the door carefully, holding his breath. Skinner was the only one asleep in the bed.
Mulder's heart dropped as a harsh realization hit him, and he ran downstairs to the kitchen, calling Will's name as he went and receiving no answer.Mulder's tone was enough of an indication for Scully that something was amiss, so she asked him without even turning around, "What's wrong, Mulder? Where's William?"
"He's gone," Mulder answered simply.
Scully chuckled a bit and milk into her pancake batter, "Gone? He can't be gone? Are you two playing a trick on me?"
"No," Mulder answered, shortly, "He's not in his room."
"Then he's not gone, he's just missing. He's probably in Walter's room, he always cons his way in there when Walt stays with us," she told him matter of factly, not a hint of worry.
"No, Scully, he isn't in there. I checked."
"Then he's probably in our room. Did you check in there?"
"No," Mulder shook his head and the ridiculous idea that he'd just walk into her bedroom with her husband sleeping in there.
"Well, check there," she ordered, "I'll check the stable. He's got to be in one of the two places," she reassured him, putting down the batter and running for the door.
"Um, Scully," Mulder called after her, "Perhaps, you'd better check with Jimmy and I'll check the stables."
Scully giggled, "Of course, you're right, sorry."
Scully ran upstairs and checked in her bedroom for her son. No William. Just to be sure Mulder wasn't fooling with her, she looked in William's room again, Walter's room, the bathroom, and under the stairs. He was nowhere to be found. By the time she concluded her search, Mulder had returned from the stables. She looked at him expectantly.
"I'm sorry, Scully," he said gently. "He's not in there."
She shook her head in disbelief, "No, he has to be."
"He's not," Mulder answered, starting towards her, making an attempt at holding her.
She backed away like a scared puppy, "You're a liar," she accused him, backing up even more so and looking around frantically, "Where's Walter? He wouldn't lie about William."
"What?" Mulder asked confused. What the hell was she talking about."
"You want him," she accused, "You've hidden him from me. You're lying!" she yelled, starting to sob, "You're lying!"
Scully was beyond hysterical now as she continued to shake and scream and cry, throwing a vase, a coffee mug and a plate at Mulder each time he tried to get close to her. The breaking glass and the screaming woke Walter and Jimmy, who came out of their rooms, struggling into robes and glasses. Jimmy reached her first and set his arms around her from behind, restrainging her and holding her at the same time, "Dana, honey?" he asked, his voice soft, filled with concern, "What's wrong?"
Scully stopped screaming but continued to sob, turning in Jimmy's arms, "He's lying. He took William. He's hiding him. He's a liar, a liar..."
"Dana," Jimmy began gently, "I think you're a bit confused. William's upstairs in bed, though I doubt he's asleep with all the racket."
"Actually, Jimmy," Mulder interjected, "Will's not up there. He seems to be missing."
Skinner's face fell at the news, "He's run away. I should have know, I should have seen it."
"Walter, come on, Man, don't blame yourself," Mulder told his friend, "It isn't your fault."
"Yeah it is. He asked about Mrs. Miller, if she was going to take him away. I told him we'd try not to let that happen and if he tried to care for himself...that's what sent him off."
Scully, who up until now, had been sobbing hysterically into Jimmy's shirt, composed herself, "It's not your fault, Walter. It's my fault. Mulder, I'm so sorry. He must have gone out the door and I just sat there and let him. My son...he just walked out and I didn't...I...it's my fault," she sobbed, starting to cry again.
"What do you mean?" Mulder asked, his tone clipped.
"I sat on that couch, and let him walk right by. I just let him go, I didn't even notice he was leaving," she cried.
Jimmy held her close and tried to hush, her.
"There's no use in placing blame here, folks," Skinner spoke up, "We have to get it together and find him."
"I'll drive around and see if I can't spot him," Mulder suggested, then to Scully, "You want to come?"
"I think she should stay here in case he comes back or someones else turns him up," Jimmy supplied.
Skinner nodded in agreement, "Good idea. Mulder and I will split up and look through the country side. You stay here with Dana, call the sheriff and some of the other men and see if they'll help us look."
"You're nuts if you think I'm going to sit around and wait here," Jimmy interrupted, "I'm going with you."
"Someone has to stay with, Dana. She can't be left alone and Mulder and I have experience with searches," Skinner argued.
"Well, I'm still going, that's my son," he countered.
Skinner through up his hands, "Fine, you can start after you get in touch with the sherriff. See if Mrs. Averleigh can come and sit with Dana."
Jimmy accepted that and made the calls. The sherriff was going to dispatch two crews to assist them and Kristen was on her way over with Andrew. He'd help search, while she kept Dana comfortable and out of trouble.
About noon time, the men returned, still empty handed. Kristen served them lunch on the run and ordered Skinner to either travel with someone or stay behind as he wasn't looking very well. He and Andrew went off together. At a distance, you couldn't tell them apart.
Mulder drove along a long county road with nothing but farm land on either side. He noticed a small movement in a corn field got out of the car. Was it too much to hope that he'd found his son
Fight or Flight 13/?As soon as Mulder saw the puppy's nose peak out of the grass he felt amazing relief poor through him. He patted Reggie on the head and peered down to see William's small form stirring at his puppy's yip.
"Mr. Mulder, is that you?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them.
"Yeah, Buddy. What are you doing out here? You're Mom is very worried about you. Why did you run away?"
"Cause Uncle Walter said I had to be a big boy and not let Mommy get confused. So I went on my own."
"Well, you ready to come back. Mommy is very upset and Uncle Walt didn't mean it like that." Mulder said, lifting the little boy and cuddling him close.
William settled his head against Mulder's shoulder as he carried him to the car.
Scully slowly wandered around the spacious kitchen feeling as if she was looking down at the scene below her. Kristen was slouched over the counter feebly speaking words of encouragement. Walter was sitting primly in the seat around the table with a glass of water in his hands
"I should be out there," Skinner said to break the silence. "I'm not doing anyone any good sitting around here."
She still didn't speak but continued her furious pacing around the room while counting silently in her mind. She felt that if she missed one number, just one, Will would simply disappear forever.
"Dana, please, sit down, Sweetie. You're going to give poor Walter over there another heart attack." Kristen said, pacing in time with Scully, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. Perhaps if she could just make 200 then William would come through the door. 189, 190, 191, 192.....While shrugging her friends hand off her shoulder.
"Scully," Skinner said loudly, rising and standing in her path, "Stop this right now and sit down."
193, 194, 195.... "Walter please don't do this. I need to dammit!"
Scully finally allowed herself to cry as all her thoughts came crashing into one. She slowly crumbled onto the floor pulling Walter down into a crouching position next to her while clinging tightly to his shirt. Kristen fell to her knees behind her and both she and Walter held Scully in a protective sandwich, each trying to absorb a little bit of their friends pain.
"It's going to be all right, Dana," Skinner whispered, "I promise."
"How can you say that? Will's missing for Christ's sake"
"But we're going to find him. I'm going to go back out and look again. Okay?"
"Who's we"?
"Mulder, Jimmy, Andrew, me...It's okay."
Skinner, it turned out, did not have to return to the search for no sooner than when he rose from his crouch on the floor did Mulder's voice come through the yard.
"Hi ho? Anybody home?" Mulder yelled from the porch.
"Mulder for God's sake..." grumbled Skinner as he came out of the kitchen. He stopped midsentence when he saw Will. Scully turned her head when she heard Walter stop.
"Mommy!" William cried and slithered out of Mulder's arms to run to Scully.
"Oh my God baby"! She held him tightly as he ran into her arms as if she would never let go. After a few moments had passed the relief and the shock had passed and anger began to settle in.
"Why did you do this sweetie? Why"? She demanded, tears running down her cheeks.
"I wanted to show you I could be a big boy. That way that mean lady won't take me away.," he murmured, tears falling down his cheeks, "I don't wanna go away."
"I know honey I know. I'm so sorry, mommy won't let anyone take you"
"But Uncle Walt said that..."
Skinner suddenly found all eyes on him and felt a blush begin to settle in from the tip of his chin to the top of his head, "I..."
"He said what baby"? She asked while smoothing his hair away from his tear stained face.
"He said, I had to show I could take care of myself so they'd let me stay and you wouldn't get mixed up all the time and give me bad juice. Did I do bad Mommy?"
"Sweetie, you did do good but what uncle Walter meant when he said you had to be a big boy was helping mommy and daddy you see? Not running away. You have hurt a lot of people today William. Do you understand that"?
That was not the right thing to say. William started to squirm to get away from Scully and ran off to hide in the corner. "I'm sorry," he cried over and over, "I didn't mean it."
"Honey"? Scully sighed
William sniffed and met her eyes, "I didn't mean to make boo boos, Mommy. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go away now?" he asked, his eyes, huge.
"No! No baby. mommy's just... Honey I love you okay? With all of my heart. I never want you to go away"
"But Uncle Walter said that big lady might take me..."
Mulder interjected. "Well, what did I tell you Will? Uncle Walter and I are gonna stop that lady from taking you okay"?
William nodded, "Okay. You guys can do anything. You the goffernet."
Skinner laughed heartily and knelt in front of William, mussing his hair, "That's right, Buddy. We're the 'goffernet.'"
Skinner laughed heartily and knelt in front of William, mussing his hair, "That's right, Buddy. We're the 'goffernet.'"
After William was safely bathed and tucked into his bed, Skinner treated Mulder to a trip to Sheila's bar to ease his frazzled nerves. He knew something was bothering his friend and he probed him as to what.
A pretty cocktail waitress asked the men what they would like to drink. Skinner ordered M a martini extra dry and ordered himself a tomato juice. Then he turned to his friend and placed a strong hand on his shoulder, "Okay, spill. What's bothering you?"
"Huh"? M replied somewhat in a daze
"Precisely what I just said, something bothering you, what's wrong with you? Why are you so upset?"
"I've just been thinking you know? About Scully's state of mind and if she really can take car of Will in this condition"
"F, I'm warning you, don't think about taking this child away from S."
"Walter, come on. She can barely remember what day it is. Let alone look after a 5 year old. Believe me, if I didn't feel I had to do this, I wouldn't. So I'm thinking of applying for custody"
"Jesus, M. Do you want to kill Scully Isn't the cancer doing it quickly enough?"
"Don't you dare say that." M warned while pointing his finger at Skinner
Skinner raised his hand to push down M's finger, "Don't you dare point that finger at me. I'm your friend here, F and I don't want you hurt, and I don't want Dana hurt.
"I'm not trying to hurt her"
"But you will. You want to take her child away from her, you think that she and Jimmy are just going to let you do that."
"I guess i haven't really thought about it"
"And anyway! What are you going on about? William's my son"
"I have a right to custody"
"Your son?" Skinner's voice caught, "I know that, but he's D's son too. I love her and I don't want to see..." Skinner stopped shocked at what he just said.
Mulder apparently had not noticed this little slip up of Skinner's then Skinner's mobile rang, "Skinner!"
"Hello? This is Jimmy Faulkner speaking"
"Jimmy, what's up?"
"It's Dana, we're at St. Stephen's County hospital"
"Why? What happened?" Skinner asked his heart tightening in his chest with fear
"She just kinda went down"
"I'm on my way," he said hanging up quickly and sliding off the bar stool heading for the door.
No, you don't need to come. Where are you anyway"?
"Hey, who was that"?
"Jimmy. I have to go."
"Where? Why? What's happened? Is its Scully"?
"Oh, now you care what happens to her." Skinner said sarcastically.
"Don't say that Walter"
"It's true, damn it. Here you are wanting to take her chid away from her and now you're all upset that something happened to her. She's collapsed Fox and no one knows why."
"What? Wait, I'm coming with you."
"Then hurry up," Skinner said, jogging to his car and driving off.
Twenty minutes later, Mulder and Skinner arrived at St. Stephen's. Mulder had force Skinner to pull over half way through and took over the driving as his friend look awful and was having hard time getting his breath.
As the two of them came to a stop outside the ER department, Mulder went up to speak to the Triage nurse.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"Yeah, we're looking for a Mrs. Scully. Oh I mean Faulkner"
"Walt...Mulder...we're over here," Jimmy called, "She's asked for you Walt."
Skinner nodded and headed back to the room that held Dana. She was lying in bed, emitting a slight moan as she shield her eyes from the light. She smiled at him and murmured, "Walt."
"I'm here, Dana," he said going to her side, "I heard you asked for me. Are you in any pain?"
"Who me? No of course not. Jimmy just was frightened and then the idiot called 911."
"Now the truth. I heard you crying a little when I came in. You don't look well at all."
"I'm fine. Just a little headache, that's all," she assured him.
Skinner reached up and touched her head, gently massaging it, trying to relieve the tension there, "What did you need? Why did you ask for me?"
"Hmmm, did I"?
"That's what Jimmy said. Did you want to say something to me or did you just want to look at my handsome face?" he joked, gently caressing her brow. "You sure there's no pain?"
"I'm perfectly sure, I'm in no pain whatsoever."
"Good. Then what did you want to tell me, focus, Dana?" he whispered
"I, I'm probably overreacting, but I'm afraid that Mulder's gonna take him away from me. Especially after this morning you know"?
"Is that why you fainted?"
"I, I, I don't know"
"Okay, Dana, okay. What if I promised that I would not let M do that."
"Could you do that? I mean, I'm perfectly happy for him to be part of Will's life. William adores Mulder"
"Have I ever let you down, Dana?"
"No, I guess you haven't."
A short while later, Mulder and Skinner left and Scully's doctors felt that it was all right for them to discharge her from the hospital so Jimmy took her home to rest as per the doctors orders.
Kristen left for home as soon as she saw them pull into the driveway. She had an early shift the next day and after assuring Scully Will was okay and in bed she headed for home.
Scully slowly walked in the front door, Jimmy supporting her tightly at the elbow. As she placed her keys on the table in the hallway, she noticed the answering machine flashing indicating they had a message.
"Jimmy? Why don't you go and let the dog out into the garden" She asked him while the puppy pranced around her feet, "I'll take care of this?"
"Okay, but I want you to lie down as soon as I get back. You have chemo tomorrow and need to rest. It's been a rough couple of days for you."
"I'll be fine. I promise I will now go. I don't want a new Lake Eire on my hallway floor"
"Okay, sweetheart," he said kissing her temple and heading outside with the pup.
Scully then pressed the button on the answering machine. As she did so, a woman's' voice filled the entrance way.
Jimmy watched Reggie sprint down the path to do his business and thought he'd have a heart attack when he heard Jolene's voice fill the room.
"Hey honey, I was just wanting to say thanks for letting me stay over last week. I hope I didn't upset your little boy. What's his name again? Walt"?
Shit! Jimmy think, he implored himself. Dana was not supposed to find out about Jo. Damn it.
"Jimmy? Could you come here a minute please"? Scully's tone was cold and clipped.
Jimmy's mind was working over time trying to formulate a proper lie to cover his indiscretion. "What is it, Honey?" he asked, deciding to play it cool.
"I said can you come here"
Jimmy walked into the room and stood next to her, bending his head to nuzzle her ear. "What is it, Sweetie?"
"Don't sweetie me. Who is she Jimmy? Who?" She demanded while stepping out of his reach.
"She's a friend from the market She needed a place to crash while her house was tented for termites."
"Termites. Is that the best you can come up with"?
"It's true," he insisted a little too forcefully, grabbing her by the wrists.
"So if I went up to William and asked him what happened, what do you think he would tell me"?
"That a friend of Daddy's stayed over the house last week."
"Jimmy, I'm not stupid. So don't make me out to be. Just tell me the God damn truth "She asked wearily
"All right. Last week when you went to D.C. I was jealous of all the time you wanted to spend with Skinner, taking care of him and I was with Jo. We dated for years before I married you and there's nothing else going on, I swear."
"And that makes it automatically right"?
"It wasn't right. It was wrong and awful and stupid, but you weren't supposed to find out."
"Ah, so I wasn't supposed to find out. Find put what"?
"You weren't supposed to find out she was here. I didn't intend for you to know, I didn't intend for any of this to happen. You weren't supposed to get sick or go to D.C. or anything like that. You were only supposed to be with me and now I'm losing you." He tried to lay the guilt on thick, make it sound like her fault.
"Ah so it's now all to do with me? I intentionally made myself sick and I made my friend have a heart attack? Jimmy, I have known these people for many years and as much as I care for you, I care deeply for these people as well. They're are like family to me you know"?
"I know. But even today in the hospital, who did you ask for, him. Not me, not even Mulder the father of your child. I don't understand it Dana. And I need someone damn it, and Jo was there."
"For what Jimmy? What did you need her for"?
"I need her to give me what you can't anymore."
"Right, so you we're "seeing" her then"
"I'm sorry Dana."
Jimmy broke off as he saw William come plodding into the living room where the two adults had moved "Mommy"? William asked.
"What's the matter, sweetie?"
"Where did you go"?
"I had to go to the hospital, sweetie. Did you have fun with Aunt Kristen?"
"Yes, mommy! We played snakes and ladders and I won"!
"Shoots and Ladders Baby. That's great. Why are you up?"
"I heard you and daddy shouting"
"We're sorry, Baby. Daddy's going to go over to visit Uncle Andy now. You go upstairs and I'll be right there."
"What?"
"Yes, you are getting out of here. I don't want you here now."
Jimmy picked up his overcoat and opened the door heading out into the darkness.
Fight or Flight 14/?
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anita
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